


World Reversed

by Ruoste



Series: Reversed [2]
Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Akechi Goro Lives, Akechi gains his own Velvet Room, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Character Development, Character Study, Dissociation, Dissociative Disorder - OSDD, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, M/M, One-sided Yoshizawa Sumire/Akira Kurusu, Persona 5: The Royal, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slow Burn, imposter syndrome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:21:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 35,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27385618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ruoste/pseuds/Ruoste
Summary: Direct sequel to Justice Reversed. It’s the beginning of February and Metaverse is suppose to be eliminated and yet something remains unsolved. What were suppose to be healed wounds are torn open. Two keys for the Velvet room are granted for a once last requirement that will decide the fate of the world.---’’If I could?’’ Maruki voiced.’’What?’’ he repeated, suspicious.’’Help lessen your burden. I’m sure you can win the battle against your mind, if you really want Akechi-kun.’’Reassuring words left Gorō dizzy. The world around him spinning in the brighter tones of light. A warm pressure building inside his head like he was breaking into a fever. Curly black and green shapes surrounding him.
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Amamiya Ren, Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist
Series: Reversed [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2000587
Comments: 22
Kudos: 88





	1. Nightmare

**Author's Note:**

> This is a direct sequel to my last fic called Justice Reversed.  
> Highly recommend reading it before this as it covers the events how Akechi is alive. If you have read it already then enjoy.
> 
> Be forewarned that this fic will contain 50% more angst and fluff than the last one!

’’How are you Akechi-kun? I heard a lot about you from Kurusu-kun,’’ councillor Maruki asked him with too casual of a tone to be questioning someone forced into rehabilitation.

Gorō couldn’t pinpoint how Akira had been able to reach out to the man in front of him, including that said man had connections good enough to give him a private session unsupervised. The leader of the Phantom thieves wielded the most particular connections and, even when the ex-detective knew the most of them, he hadn’t seen the councillor until today.

Maruki wore a casual attire, sloppy attempt at grooming his facial hair unusual for a Japanese man* and held a calm demeanor. Akechi analysed all this visual information in front of him, and his first thought was that the man must be a just graduated student that had yet to get a steady grip on his life.

’’That was a silly question. You don’t have to answer. You must be already tired of all these similar questions by the staff here. We can talk about any topic that you fancy- or we don’t have to. There is nothing wrong in silence,’’ Maruki rambled on trying to soothe Gorō of all things.

He wasn’t some fragile thing.

He was hardened to the point that he couldn’t think of anything that could hurt him anymore.

’’You were indebted to Akira, correct?’’ he asked and noted how the older man looked surprised for a moment before a pleased smile was directed his way.

’’He helped with my thesis, yes. Are you interested in psychology?’’

_Still a student then?_

’’…I might take up studying criminal psychology. Doubt you specialized in it,’’ Gorō guessed.

’’You’re correct in your presumption, but I’m more than happy to share my knowledge in general psychology with you. I believe it could become in handy,’’ Maruki offered with a nervous laugh.

Akechi was just a few minutes into the conversation as he realized how easily he had been eased into it. The councillor was talented at getting people to open up.

The staff in this facility, while some passionate and some not so much, treated Akechi Gorō with not much of an interest or quick to give up on him. The lone psychiatric, part of some exchange program from Germany, gave him a personalized diagnosis but was unsure how to treat him.

Akechi knew this job for others in the facility was already a routine and how it must have taken its toll on the staff. Made them numb to occasional outburst of the patients or made it more preferable to take the easiest way out if treating someone as, from their point of view, docile as him.

It made sense that in contrast Maruki, fresh out of school, still had the passion for his job. Patient and open towards his clients.

’’-And that concludes the basics of cognitive psychology. I’m glad you have a clear goal for the future ahead, Akechi-kun.’’

’’It’s my final year in high-school,’’ he rejected the unnecessary compliment from Maruki.

’’Ah, yes. Still, is there anything else you wish?’’

’’…You have to be more specific than that, Maruki-sensei.’’

’’Akira told me about your diagnoses, while of course, trusting my confidentiality. Is there anything that I could do to help? Make your life easier in the following years?’’

_And once the prey is lulled to a sense of peace, then strike._

’’Of course, you won’t have to an-’’

’’Nothing. Even you can’t save me from my own mind, sensei,’’ Gorō spoke the brutal and honest truth.

He didn’t ask how to silence the different Personas crashing inside him.

Not specifying the invading thought, that he experienced every day at the most mundane tasks, forcing him to relive them over again.

Not how he had learned to push the memories away, and how you couldn’t tell the difference from the outside. How it was what he considered normal until someone here said it was symptoms of a post-traumatic stress order and he didn’t argue back.

No medication prescribed to him to the symptoms as, despite everything, he lacked any clear signs that would need mood stabilization. Akechi was instead given a renewed bottle of sleeping pills already familiar to him. A therapist yet to be assigned to him that would take it upon themselves to try to ’’cure’’ him after he would be released.

’’If I could?’’ Maruki voiced.

’’What?’’ he repeated, suspicious.

’’Help lessen your burden. I’m sure you can win the battle against your mind, if you really want Akechi-kun.’’

Reassuring words left Gorō dizzy. The world around him spinning in the brighter tones of light. A warm pressure building inside his head like he was breaking into a fever. Curly black and green shapes surrounding him-

’’Maruki Takuto?’’ a staff member called and suddenly Akechi snapped out of the trance he had been falling into.

_What was that?_

’’It seems my visiting time is up Akechi-kun. What a shame,’’ Maruki rose from his seat and hastily fished out a business card from his coat.

’’If you want to contact me again, just give me a call. I’m more than happy to help,’’ he offered and Gorō accepted.

The councillor bid his farewells, and when the nurse came to direct the dazed patient to his room, he was cautious to walk slow. Akechi couldn’t be sure when another wave of nausea would pass through him.

**\---**

_Gorō woke up in the middle of an empty hallway. He was standing still in place like he had always been there._

_The place was oddly familiar yet different from how he remembered it. Looking to the door signs he realized they were classroom plates. A school, not his own, but where Akira and most of the Phantom thieves attend; Shūjin high-school. Last he had been in the upper floors like this, had been during the culture festival. Now there were no decorations for classrooms that had been turned to something else from cafes to haunted houses._

_A butterfly passed by Akechi, and with it came a voice._

_’’Wish I could stay here and never return home,’’ Akira’s voice could be heard but more muffled. Like a recording of poor quality._

_Then the insect disappeared, or maybe it had never been here._

Akechi was woken to even weirder reality. The colors were somehow brighter but fragmented like looking through a kaleidoscope. His head felt light and when he blinked the world seemed to return to normal.

Yet a sense of something being off remained.

\--- 

’’You must be happy to be released,’’ his doctor spoke like it was completely normal.

Akechi sure didn’t mind if he could leave earlier, but he really didn’t want to deal with the following consequences of a mistake from his doctor’s misconduct.

’’I’m afraid you must be mistaken. I’m to be released next month, and if they can’t find me a therapist outside, then it could extended to within two months.’’

’’No need to worry about that. I’m more than happy to continue as your personal therapist until you find someone more suitable for your needs. Twice a week shall be enough, but you can contact me right away at whatever time if any problems are to occur. Here,’’ he offered the ex-detective his business card.

Akechi was very sure the doctor wasn’t previously offering private sessions outside this rehabilitation center, nor had time to do so. It was if his personality had been completely switched.

’’That isn’t the problem. Whatever has gotten into you Doctor Fleming?’’

’’Niijima Sae is coming around 12 pm. Be sure to be ready by then,’’ the doctor ignored his worries.

Nothing made sense, but if Sae-san was going to fetch him, then it must be official. How could the court ruling change? It had happened right after his meeting with Maruki. He must have strong connections, or was there something else? A swarm of questions spun inside his head like a roulette, but no conclusion could be made as Gorō needed more information.

True to doctor Fleming’s word he was released from the hospital and outside waiting was Sae Niijima.

’’Good to see you, Akechi,’’ the prosecutor greeted with a smile and he returned the gesture in kind.

’’You too, Sae-san.’’

He was quite sure Sae-san didn’t own a car of her own, yet here she was with one. Maybe she had rented one, but that was the least of his worries at the moment.

At the car Akechi began to speculate out loud.

’’Why was the court’s ruling changed?’’

’’The court? What are you talking about?’’ Sae-san seemed confused.

’’The court. I was sentenced to one month at a closed psychiatric institute. Why would they suddenly change their mind?’’

’’Sentenced? You walked to the institute yourself, and asked to be placed under surveillance until you felt better, ’’ she said and vivid images flashed through Gorō’s mind.

_He did?_

_-No, he couldn’t._

He was sentenced because he had testified against Shidō.

His mental health had been used against him, and instead of his offence in murders, he had been charged with an illegal position of a gun while underage. The existence of Metaverse had been denied as no evidence of its existence remained after its destruction.

’’You shouldn’t push yourself so much Akechi. I can’t have you break down in the middle of investigation. I get it that the last crime scene was… gruesome. Maybe you should take some time to focus on your studies instead?’’ She continued, a little bit of concern leaking into her voice.

As she spoke Akechi could picture the crime scene, the police tape near the parking lot.

_Investigation? Yes, he had been investigating a murder with Sae-san few days ago-_

No, none of that had happened. He had been at the hospital, and before that he had been in protective custody.

Last murder he had been investigating was the psychotic breakdown of principal of Shūjin high-school.

_The one he had caused._

He buried his nails to his hand fighting off whatever was trying to take over his mind.

’’Are you feeling alright Akechi?’’ Sae-san worried.

’’I’m quite alright. Just a little carsick,’’ he bluffed and she didn’t pry further.

’’Good. After this our family will celebrate how father was elected to receive the superintendent general award. He didn’t want to make it a big deal, so it will be just Makoto and me. But you can always congratulate him when you see him at work.’’

He didn’t comment on the bizarre speech of the prosecutor.

\---

They arrived at a building two blocks from Gorō's original house. It was a bakery, a small apartment but it seemed to emit a cozy atmosphere.

_Like home._

The ex-detective shook his head.

Why had Sae-san left him here? He didn’t remember a bakery being this close to his home.

He stepped through the door curious, only to be assaulted by a tight hug.

’’I was so worried… Welcome home Gorō.’’ When the woman stepped back, Akechi's head felt like it was filled with static.

The woman looked like his mother, if a little older. Long brown hair tugged back like when she didn’t have to please customers. She had explained to small Akechi, that while she had her hair like this, she would be there only for him, no work should ever bother her.

Carefully she led him through the store to the big couches.

’’I’ll pour you some coffee just the way you like it, two sugars and no milk. Never as good at Leblanc I’m sure, but please bear with me,’’ she giggled and left him to his devices.

Gorō was definitely dissociating.

**This wasn’t real.**

**None of this was.**

A dream, or it was only a matter of time before it would turn to a nightmare. If it wasn’t, he was in some woman’s store that looked exactly like his mother and Sae-san was delusional.

Then he heard humming from the kitchen area.

A soft tune, the one he had forgotten.

A children’s lullaby that his mother had made up when there had been an especially bad typhoon. Gorō had feared that the whole stack of a house they lived in, would be swept away with the wind.

It was an identical song, and no other person could know about.

**He needed to get out.**

He must be dreaming, that was the only explanation.

Or then people were rising from the dead.

Sae-san’s father and now his mother.

Akechi stumbled to the nearest door which luckily turned out to be the bathroom.

He threw up.

His whole body caught in a spasm until all he could vomit was acid.

He was no longer in-control of what he was doing. Just an observer with a first person view. Little like when he was using Loki that made people go psychotic. 

Everything around him became a blur.

With a vague intrigue he watched himself furiously washing his face to clear his dimming mind.

It wasn’t helping.

Staring at the mirror there were empty eyes and a twisted smile. Just like the one the crazy puppet version of him had worn in Shidō’s palace.

Akechi smashed the mirror with his fist.

Once.

Twice.

With every punch shards of glass sticking to his skin until there was no mirror he could be reflected to.

There was pain, but it felt far away. Just like his mind.

Was he laughing or screaming, he couldn’t tell with the mirror gone and his thoughts growing more and more incoherent. He lost the sense of time and ability to understand everything he had been doing, until everything went dark.

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *In Japan men having facial hair is seen as dirty/unclean, 汚い (kitanai). This is why Japanese men shave all the facial and bodily hair, except hair and eyebrows, the same as women. Western culture is slowly influencing the trend, but it’s still a wide belief.
> 
> Based Akechi’s dissociative episode on my own experience with one. Won’t spill my traumatic childhood here, just know that writing Akechi is kind of therapy to me. Nothing gives me as much serotonin as writing.


	2. Sunday - 5th of February

Akira woke up with a dark haired young man sleeping by his side. In his bed.

He sprung backwards like from a static shock and fell from the bed.

Yet Akira couldn’t remember anything. Had he really been so desperate and lonely without Gorō by his side that he was now sleeping around with strangers? Oh, how he had fallen from grace.

’’Akira?’’ The stranger called him by his first name and the trickster really wanted to go back in time so he could undo it all. Also smack himself in the face.

When seeing the stranger’s face Akira couldn’t at first really recognize the man’s facial features as he saw him somehow unclear. Like through a twisting mirror.

_He must have hit his head when falling._

’’I’ll head down, then we’ll talk. I’ll… clear all this up so we won’t have any misunderstandings, okay?’’ he rose up awkwardly, only his facade of Joker was keeping him from running outside embarrassed and swearing the actions of his past self.

’’You’re acting weird but okay?’’ The man noted.

Akira vaguely registered that the voice didn't quite fit his face. Yet the Phantom thief was too self-conscious at the moment to reflect on that and instead rushed downstairs.

Where was Morgana? He should have been around to prevent Akira from making any decisions that he might regret. His own impulse control in the form of a cat.

\---

Sōjirō actually treated the unknown man with a sense of familiarity which was strange. At least he was keeping the other man company until Akira was dressed and ready to face the music.

That was when in turn Futaba and a woman that looked somehow familiar came to the cafe. His sister in spirit referred to her as mother and the dots were connected.

Isshiki Wakaba, who was supposed to be dead was here, alive. He had seen her only as a monster inside the hacker’s Palace.

They referred to the unknown man with a name Mona and Akira was feeling overwhelmed.

This couldn’t be a prank or a trick of some kind. Morgana turned human he could somehow believe, with how the cat was able to turn to a truck a human wasn’t too far off. But Futaba calling some woman ’’mother’’ wasn’t something he could take lightly.

Somehow she was alive and everyone acted like it was normal.

Akira pinched himself and yet everything remained the same. He wasn’t dreaming.

The cafe’s door was flung open and there stood Gorō. Akira wasn’t supposed to be this stunned after seeing dead people walking, but the detective was different.

’’Gorō!? What are you doing out of the hospital?’’ he asked, baffled, to which Akechi answered calmly.

’’They released me yesterday without a reason.’’

’’Without reason?’’ Akira repeated, and noticed the detective's bandaged hand. He was only wearing a glove on the other hand. ’’What happened to your hand?’’

Gorō didn’t answer the questions, his attention drawn away elsewhere. His eyes narrowed at the sight of Wakabe Isshiki, but he said nothing.

_Did Akechi know something about this situation?_

’’Come with me,’’ Gorō finally said and directed them outside.

\---

Apparently, the dead were now alive and others didn't find it odd. Something must be rewriting reality, or so the newly found detective duo quickly determined. The situation they found themselves in must be to do with Metaverse somehow, and they couldn’t be sure if it was the Shidō’s men that had been behind it. Yet none of them could access the Metaverse from what Akechi knew, and it should be impossible to begin with because of its collapse. Despite their beliefs in their phones was the Metanavi like nothing had happened.

Akira couldn’t be happier that he had Gorō with him and not alone in this situation, even if said boy was in full detective mood now. Not having time for their usual banter, laying down only speculation and evidence.

Kasumi called Akira at the good time and both of them headed to the stadium that seemed to be the source of the disturbance in reality.

A Palace from an unknown person stood tall. It should have collapsed with the Metaverse, but here it was looking just like it had before. Akira now regretted not dealing with it the first time, but he had only Morgana with him at the time and Kasumi had just woken her Persona. Many coincidences had led him to discover it and at the same time not to uncover its secrets.

’’You never mentioned that Yoshizawa-san had a Persona,’’ Gorō spoke to him accusingly.

’’Well, she isn’t a part of the of the Phantom thieves and she awoke her Persona in the middle of our mission at the casino.’’

’’I never knew Akechi-senpai was also a Phantom thief,’’ she said.

’’I’m not, but let’s call it truce for now,’’ he dismissed and Akira pouted.

’’You’re still speaking like we are enemies?’’

’’No. I just never joined the Phantom thieves officially, not that it would have mattered as we were supposed to be done with Metaverse,’’ Crow remained stern.

’’Enemies? Done with Metaverse?’’ Kasumi was completely out of the loop.

’’I’ll fill you in Kasumi as we climb,’’ Akira reassured.

\---

Crow took the roles of Oracle and Queen with support. The ruthless side of him having taken over, his speech was now more aggressive and unreserved. A perpetrator*, black mask that had no reservations of hurting others.

When he had told Akira about his diagnosed Other Specified Dissociative Disorder Akira couldn’t help but to do his own digging. He still couldn’t tell the difference with other alters, but this one was easy to tell apart as Gorō referred to himself differently**.

Now that he was actually paying attention Joker noticed how Crow even stood differently, the center of his balance more backwards so when he moved forward he could use the gravity to accelerate his charge. The way he wielded his saber was not refined. It was a wild fury of slashes that were more practical and took less effort than the well aimed ones, than the style he had fought with before his betrayal. Akira wondered just how different Crow’s facial expressions were behind the mask.

The switch of personality seemed to nervous Kasumi and Akira had a hard time blaming her. When she had last seen Gorō, he had been the detective prince. The polite, soft spoken one and his speech style had been similar to Kasumi’s***, no wonder she felt unsettled.

Akira tried to ease her by playfully joking the detective just had pent-up negative emotions from all the media attention. The comment was enough to make her not to flinch when Crow raised his voice with bloodlust.

\---

When they reached the Palace ruler Akira felt more disappointed than angry.

Maruki was the owner of the Palace, but as much as the councillor had tried to hide it, Akira had, on some level, seen it coming. He had seen Ann, Ryūji and him during their way out of a Palace and he didn’t report them. He had believed Akira’s story of the existence of Metaverse and Maruki himself had been researching it. All of it added up.

It should have been obvious, but it still didn’t mean that Akira didn’t feel like a knife had been twisted inside his gut.

’’Why?’’ he voiced, and Maruki spoke with the same reassuring voice like he had during their counselling sessions.

’’I want to create a world without sorrow. You deserve better. All three of you.’’

’’Bullshit. You’re doing this out of your own self-satisfaction,’’ Crow called out.

’’Maybe so, but I really want to help you. Isn’t your mind more clear now, Akechi-kun?’’

Crow paused and answered with his voice dangerously low.

’’What did you do to me?’’

’’Gave you peace. The same as you Yoshizawa-san.’’ Maruki extended his hand to the gymnastic.

She didn’t seem to comprehend what he was talking about.

’’Me?’’

’’A painful truth you couldn’t live with, I granted your wish and removed it.’’ The councillor turned the room’s projector on with a snap of his fingers.

Maruki showed the three of them the incident in all its excruciating detail. A memory taken from the gymnastic herself, which led them to witness the accident in first person perspective. How Kasumi had died and the girl before them was Sumire. The counselor had fulfilled her wish, so she wouldn’t have to deal with the her survivor's guilt.

Sumire fell to the ground, shocked.

’’Kasumi…’’ Joker called carefully, but she wasn’t listening, shaking her head. She didn’t want to believe it.

’’Don’t you see now, the reality is too cruel to be left as it is. I want to rebuild a better reality for you. One where you won’t have to suffer. Please,’’ Maruki pleaded and Akira felt conflicted.

It would have been easier if Maruki had turned out to be like Madarame. A man only pretending to be kind and understanding while under the covers he was just gathering what he wanted. Whether wealth or other twisted desire. A whole different person behind closed doors.

But he wasn’t.

Maruki was still interested in other people’s happiness and wanted to change the world for the better. Akira couldn’t fault that trail of thought, as he too shared the ideology even if the way he had proceeded was different. He had been changing hearts and conquering Palaces, but Maruki had the power to do so on a bigger scale. Change the society and not just individuals, yet prioritize the individual’s happiness.

He could do what Akira couldn’t.

’’How arrogant of you to be poking into people’s heads and thinking you can ’’fix’’ them. I don’t accept your revolting reality. I’ll carve my own path.’’ Crow readied his saber.

Joker took a deep breath.

’’I’m sorry Maruki-sensei. We all fought so that no one could tamper with this reality.’’

’’I see… I’m sorry you feel that way,’’ he apologized, but seemed to have prepared for this result.

’’No!’’ Sumire rose and threw herself between Maruki and them.

’’Sumire?’’ Joker called.

’’N-No! I can’t be Sumire, I can’t live as Sumire. Sumire killed Kasumi.’’ She walked to the councillor.

Now it was two versus two, but Maruki didn’t seem to be willing to fight.

’’Haven’t you witnessed your friends happiness? Are you really willing to rid them of that?’’

Akira had seen it.

Futaba with her mother, Wakebe Ishiki, and Sōjirō.

They looked like a big happy family.

_One that could never be in their reality._

Joker had a hard time finding words. A counter.

’’I-’’

’’Shut up! Akira shouldn’t babysit his friends needs. Aren’t you a therapist? You should know this,’’ Gorō interrupted, stepping forward covering him.

Maruki frowned, shaking his head.

’’I never attempted to blame Kurusu-kun. I’m just saying that they have accepted the reality I created. You have the choice to refuse it. Of course, I hope you would change your mind, but I won’t pressure you. Please take your time to explore it so you know I’m not lying. I want to create a best possible reality for all of you.’’ He turned away from them. ’’Let’s meet here again in a week. Then you can tell me your answer.’’

Him and Sumire disappeared, which left the duo alone.

The encounter had left a bad taste in Akira's mouth. He felt like he hadn't been able to ask everything that they needed nor could he stop Sumire from switching sides.

Gorō had been able to keep his composer while he had been filled with too many doubts to press forward. He couldn’t fault Maruki for wanting to protect such a torn mind he had.

’’I hope you’re not planning to change your mind,’’ Crow spoke threateningly.

’’Don’t worry. I’ll persuade everyone and we’ll take this Palace on together,’’ Joker faked the confidence when he could make no guarantees.

’’Wake them up from their delusions of their own accord? You're as full as idealistic nonsense as usual.’’

’’All I hear are compliments.’’ Akira smirked.

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *A name given to an alter by its function. In the case of Black mask, it manifests in Akechi when in combat. Alters are what might be in common language known as ‘’multiple personalities’’ in DID (Dissociative identity disorder), or in this case OSDD-1A (Other Specified Dissociative disorder). 
> 
> **Akechi references to himself with ’’ore’’ (俺) (Masculine, rough or could be seen as rude) only during the time he is wearing a black mask. Even when he rejoins the team after the New year, that’s the only time he refers to himself in a said way. All the other times he uses ’’boku’’ 僕, a more polite way of speech while still masculine. (Full explanation for this in Justice Reversed Chapter 19 end notes.)
> 
> ***Sumire speaks very formally or what I sometimes hear as keigo けいご. Japan has three speech styles and keigo is the most polite and humble way of speech that shows respect, usually to the older or in a higher position than them (or when in customer service). It makes sense she speaks this way as she is the youngest of the group. Yet Futaba in the bad ending notes she is to be a younger classmate to Sumire, alas she should speak to her casually. Sumire slips and finds herself still speaking in it. (So no she doesn’t call her senpai, she speaks formally, but it would have been hard to translate to the dialogue without explanation.)
> 
> Akechi also speaks in teineigo (polite, formal) and casually, but his word choice before betrayal (or in his detective prince facade) is very pleasant. He speaks in longer phrases and sugarcoats nearly every word in Japanese. If I were to try to explain, here are few translation examples:  
> (Normally) Do you want to go there?  
> (Akechi) If I may be so presumptuous to think if you would like to go there?
> 
> Also yeah, I didn't make Maruki fight them, because I feel like he wouldn't be someone who could be easily provoked to fight. The fight in the game was there only for Joker and Crow to get a duo skill, or well, that's how interpreted it.


	3. Indescribable

Gorō followed Akira back to Leblanc. There his leader managed to make Morgana reconsider its existence with a simple phrase. Gorō would have preferred him to be more up-front, but they were Akira's friends more than the detective’s. He wouldn’t know what would be the best way to wake them up, or if he did, they would despise him afterwards.

It was getting late and he really didn’t want to go back to his ’’mother’’. Something pulled straight out of his memories only with slight alteration.

Gorō had stayed functional enough after he woke up in his supposed ’’own room’’. A room decorated unlike his own apartment had been. A full library worth of books, framed autographs from said author’s, awards he had never had won, a corner dedicated to feather man, superheroes and comics.

_The remnants of a happy childhood he had never had._

His hand had been treated, but he hadn’t thought much of it, as he had ran for the door before he could face _her_ again.

  
  


’’Gorō, are you going to stay? Morgana has taken the couch, but my last offer still stands. Want to share the bed?’’ Akira called out, teasing as always.

’’Is it alright for you to not ask Sōjirō?’’ he reminded.

’’He would have spoken up before he left. He only said to remember to close the shop,’’ Akira noted.

Gorō knew wherever he spent the night, he wouldn’t get any sleep tonight.

He didn’t have the strength at the time to look for a hotel to stay in. The Palace had taken its toll on him, and he had come to appreciate just how demanding and vital Sakura’s and Niijima’s roles had been.

’’…Fine,’’ he resigned.

Akira seemed taken back to the point of being rendered speechless.

_What an oversight on the leader’s part for not thinking the offer through with his jokes._

’’O-okay. I’ll lend you some clothes,’’ Akira collected himself.

\---

First he had been forced to stay the night at Leblanc and now he was willingly spending it here.

It's all so ironic, but honestly Gorō didn’t trust himself alone with his thoughts at the moment when the conversation inside the Palace was still repeating inside his head.

_Maruki had done something to him when they had met at the hospital to ’’give him peace’’._ _Did that mean he was being controlled again?_

_Could he even trust himself at the moment?_

_Or was this just a manipulation tactic to make him doubt himself?_

’’…Hey Gorō, are you awake?’’ Akira called besides him.

The other had been shifting non stop, feeling as restless as him most likely. Gorō had met Maruki only once, but to Akira the councillor was someone who’s relationship he had compared to a confidant.

’’You could just turn your head and see for yourself,’’ the detective made a remark.

Akira turned to him, smiling playfully.

’’Wouldn’t want to be a creep to stare at your pretty face while you slept.’’

’’You already have. I won’t forget that picture you took,’’ he said bluntly.

’’Okay, you got me, but have you considered peer pressure? Futaba really wanted those pictures,’’ the trickster defended and Gorō didn’t want to participate in this dumb back and forward anymore.

’’Where did you injure your left hand?’’ Akira continued, like their banter had only been an opening act to a deep conversation.

’’What it is to you?’’

’’If you don’t want to tell, that’s okay,’’ he hummed, and continued from another topic. ’’I’m also curious why you decided to accept my offer when you were so against it the first time? Not that I mind, I rather like you by my side.’’

Gorō could have gotten the point without the last remark.

_God was Akira corny._

’’In this reality my house isn’t my home,’’ he stated.

’’Oh.’’

’’And my mother is alive.’’

’’…Are you okay?’’ Akira asked quietly.

’’I don’t know.’’

Gorō really didn’t know.

In fact he felt he was under-reacting.

His mother, who he had last seen as a corpse reanimated before him. He should have had a stronger reaction than what he had. More than one broken mirror and cuts in his hand. He wouldn’t have been surprised if he would have, if he hadn’t fainted.

Now he felt calm all things considered.

His mind didn’t feel as fragmented, from the information he was given he could deduce better and in the Palace he could switch between all of his three Persona’s with ease. They were in perfect balance, and no one voice shouted over the other.

_A Clear mind to give him p_ _eace._

_Was this Maruki’s influence?_

He was thrown to reality by Akira reaching out to gently play with his hair.

’’It’s going to be okay. We’ll make it so.’’

Warm hand brushed his hair to the side and back.

Somehow it was pleasant.

Gorō had a hard time not leaning into the touch and he hated that he was acting like a touch-starved pet right now.

’’I’m not Sakura-san,’’ he said without any of the spite he had intended to put into the words.

Akira laughed quietly, but didn’t stop.

\---

When the first rays of sunlight hit the window Akechi rose to his feet. He had been right and hadn’t closed his eyes once through the whole night.

Akira was sleeping soundly by his side. It should have caused him a surge of envy, but rather than that it had provided him with some resemblance of rest. He had been able to stay still when focusing on listening to the sound of the other’s breathing beside him.

’’Where are you going?’’ Morgana questioned.

’’Gathering information,’’ the ex-detective answered, dressing to his usual outfit.

Never again will he dress in Akira’s oversized clothes. He had relied on him enough as it was already.

’’Don’t you have school?’’ Morgana continued, and Gorō wanted to point out that the thing should rather question why it didn’t have school itself. That maybe being human wasn’t what he was.

’’This is much more important,’’ he refrained from telling, just so he could rub it onto Akira's face later when no one would snap out of the illusion Maruki had put them in.

’’I’ll come with you,’’ Mona announced. Despite changing its form to human, the creature still worried over him.

’’Do as you will,’’ he mumbled.

Morgana didn’t pry where they went and what they were doing. The company wasn’t the worst, as Mona very soon understood to be quiet when he wasn’t listening to others' commentary.

Maruki’s influence could be felt around Shibuya, but Gorō picked up how still many were ’’unhappy’’ by the councillor’s desired standards. There were still homeless loners on the street, someone complaining too loudly to the phone about their boss, or a lone kid in a park trying to play by themselves.

The first task he undertook was researching just how far Maruki's brainwashing had spread.

He took the train through the Kanto area, and when Gorō squinted his eyes, he could see how the world was coated in small shards of something that resembled pieces of glass. They were small like the grains of sand, and when he stared towards the sky, he could see how it covered only the small part of Tokyo. The barrier did not reaching but as far as tallest buildings in the sky.

Even technically outside Maruki’s influence, Morgana didn’t turn back to a cat. The glimmering sand not leaving its target.

\---

Akira was a little too happy to live with him again and yet they rarely saw each other during the following week. Both left exhausted by their respective tasks and yet Akira would try to play doctor and help Gorō adjust the bandage in his hand. He was skillful enough to use his non-dominant hand to do it himself, but the other just wouldn’t let it slide. Something about ''Gorō not trying to deal with everything alone.''

_What a hypocrite._

The leader of the Phantom thieves was spending his time with a different member of their group everyday. No doubt trying to pursue them without causing them too much distress. Like a soft push in the right direction. So far no proof of their recovery in sight.

Akechi got his therapy sessions scheduled for Tuesdays and Thursdays. He wouldn’t be able to get private sessions as easy once the world would be turned to normal, nor would Maruki’s world let him remain at free if he wouldn’t go, so he reluctantly attended them.

They weren’t the same kind of sessions as he had gotten at the mental hospital where they had done, what now felt like, the bare minimum. They had written down the time-line of his traumatic past and current symptoms and how he was doing on a daily basis. Now they were speaking about long term plans and what were Gorō’s own goals and what he wanted from the treatment.

It made him feel a sense of having control over his life again. Self-sufficient.

Akechi’s research of Maruki’s illusion yielded pleasing results. It wasn’t perfect, like he had witnessed on the streets. The concrete proof could be seen in that Kitagawa’s mother wasn’t alive and how Shidō was still imprisoned, and not suddenly bettered his ways after everything he had done.

Kitagawa’s situation proved that Maruki couldn’t raise everyone from the dead. His mother had always been sick from what Akira had told him. Thus even Maruki couldn’t fight biology or his morale wouldn’t let him. If that was the case, he seemed to respect disabled or neurodivergent people’s rights if nothing else.

Shidō’s situation meant that Maruki wasn’t brainwashing but rather giving people some kind of form of psychotherapy. Narcissistic personality disorder is nearly impossible to cure as they feel they don’t need any kind of help nor admit their own problems or see what they do as wrong. They see themselves as perfect and thus any kind of help is ignored by them.

The only different with Shidō that Gorō found out in this reality is that he had been paying child support, which explained how his mother was alive and, from the outside at least, how she wasn’t working in the sex-industry.

Even if Maruki’s powers had limitations he had managed to change the rules of their society. He had legalized same-sex marriage* and gotten rid of the more questionable methods to investigate sexual assault**. It was almost frightening how easily the man bent the rules of their world.

Morgana spent all its time stuck to Gorō's side like it still held a promise to Akira to keep an eye on him, which was inconsistent against how Maruki had changed reality.

Maybe Maruki had other things that prevented him from tampering with reality too much? Akira and his friends were still together, Sae-san and Akechi still worked together, and even with the dead being alive, it wasn’t creating huge inconsistencies. No butterfly effects. Maybe that was why Maruki was proceeding with the changes slowly? They still seemed to have time, but for how long, Gorō didn’t know.

He was spending his time in the library double checking that every dead person was indeed alive, when Morgana asked him a question.

’’Akechi, are you moving in with us?’’ 

’’Only temporarily,’’ he answered.

Eventually Akira had promised they would share an apartment together, but it wasn’t supposed to happen until Gorō had graduated.

’’That house we keep on passing… Is it your home?’’

The question was innocent, but he had to fight through his nausea to answer.

’’Yes.’’

’’But you don’t want to go there?’’ Mona noted and this time he couldn’t find an easy reply.

Neither could Gorō deny or confirm it as he would everyday, without a clear reason, pass it.

To confirm it was still there?

Dreading and yet expecting an encounter with his mother?

Alive, breathing and, dared he hope, _happy._

But he couldn’t.

It was a self-restriction he had placed on himself.

Never would he be controlled again by any person or God. Not even by someone who offered him happiness. It was a fraud like in a cult; All you had to do was entrust the leader with their status and give them what they desired, afterwards you would be rewarded with happiness. 

He wouldn’t fall for such a thing, even if he would give up his own so-called ’’happiness’’ that had been decided and given to him.

’’I can get what you need from there. You should be saving up the money for when you graduate,’’ Morgana offered.

Gorō wanted to protest, but he held it in. It was just an emotion talking, and not logical thinking.

’’…Do you want to write me a list?’’ Mona asked.

Akechi nodded mechanically.

\--- 

In the end just standing outside the small bakery left Gorō’s knees weak and another part of him was eager to run away as far as he could. Minutes passed, but too slowly, increasing his hyper awareness every second that went by.

When Morgana re-emerged with a box and handful of bags he nearly stumbled when he tried to move. The only helpful thing about the human Morgana was that he could help Akechi carry his belongings. Not that he would have ever admitted it verbally.

’’You could have waited somewhere else,’’ the cat turned human said.

’’And where exactly? You don’t have a phone,’’ Gorō bit back.

’’That- Yes. You’re right,’’ Mona seemed hesitant to continue. ’’Ayumi said she understands if you need space. Said you're welcome back whenever as this will always remain your home.’’

Akechi felt sick to the core of his being.

He was wronging the only person that had kept him alive for 17 years.

The only person that had shown him any kind of care before the Phantom thieves.

He was a horrible person.

_Maruki would pay for this._

’’…Are you alright?’’ Morgana called unsure.

’’You wouldn’t understand as you are now,’’ Akechi answered as cold as he felt.

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * Same-sex marriage is yet to be made legal in Japan, and yes, Maruki canonly legalized it. What a good ally!
> 
> ** This is referring to what in Japan is by many known as the ’’second rape’’. You have to demonstrate with a manikin how the assault happened while cops hold it against you. This is why many won’t report sexual assault in Japan, as they are basically making you re-live the fresh trauma again. I suggest looking ’’me too movement in Japan’’ for more information.
> 
> Maruki changing this law is just my headcanon.
> 
> Akechi’s Mother’s name Ayumi is spelled with 明唯海. It’s her first name and I’ll reveal Akechi’s original surname with her later.  
> The first kanji in her name 明 (Bright) is the same ’’A’’ as in Akechi’s name. Ayumi’s name’s whole meaning could be translated to Bright, lone sea. I thought it as fitting as it's sounds somewhat melancholic and lonely yet at the same time a little hopeful.


	4. Waver

Akira hadn’t been able to change anyone's mind. No, rather he couldn’t.

There was a great sense of everything being _wrong_.

Futaba, who had been so happy to be able to go shopping alone after a long struggle, was now attached to Wakaba’s side and didn’t go anywhere without her.

How nothing bad happened with Kamoshida so Shiho and Ann would hang out like it was normal, but the Shiho had still been exchanged to a different school without a reason they could explain.

Sayuri, Yūsuke’s mother’s painting, was yet again hung alongside Madarame even if under the original creator’s name this time.

Haru and her father were spending time together like a father and daughter would. They would oversee their blooming franchise in person with pride.

It was like all their personal progress and growth had been redeemed meaningless.

Akira felt uneasy, a sense of dread that was uncanny.

Yet when he saw Ryūji running with a leg he couldn’t previously use, or Sae and Makoto planning dinner with their father, or how Futaba, Wakaba and Sōjirō looked like a happy family, he couldn’t call out to them.

**Akira was unable to take that away from them again.**

In a twisted way he felt jealous that they could live in a bliss that he didn’t have. That he was but an spectator of an ideal fantasy. He thought he had already gotten over his fear of abandonment, but it clearly wasn’t the case.

Gorō was the only thing that kept him grounded. Helped him not to feel as isolated and lonely, like an outsider just looking at a perfect reality he wasn’t part of.

If not for their goal, Akira might have just accepted this reality, just so he wouldn’t feel this distance from everyone.

Give up to lurking thoughts that if he accepted this then, there could be a happy reality for him too.

_Maybe one where his parents would have supported him?_

_No, it would be a future where he would be officially part of the Sakura family._

’’You have talked to everyone now?’’ Gorō asked by his side.

Nights when Morgana was already asleep were the only times they could talk face to face about their plans.

’’You were counting?’’ Akira asked.

’’Tomorrow is the day Maruki plans to hear our answer. It would also be a perfect time to inflate the Palace,’’ the detective noted and Akira grinded his teeth together in a vain attempt to keep up his poker face.

’’I’m guessing none of them have come to their senses,’’ Akechi saw through him.

’’They will.’’

’’Waiting any longer isn’t wise. Maruki’s brainwashing is spreading as we speak until it’ll be too strong for even us to resist.’’

An unknown time-limit, which only made Joker want to stall more, the exact opposite of the other wild card.

’’…Why do you think we are immune to it?’’ Akira was just buying time to answer, even if he knew what they ultimately would have to do.

Detective pondered for a while.

’’I would have said because we are wild cards, but Yoshizawa-san was not affected. It could be because she was already under Maruki’s influence, as I might be. Are you Akira?’’

’’I don’t think so, no. I never felt light-headed during our sessions. It could be an unknown factor then,’’ he said, but Gorō was staring holes through him. ’’What?’’

’’I’m going alone if you won’t,’’ the detective spoke with conviction.

He had seen through Akira’s misdirection.

’’No, I’ll- We can go. It’s not fair to Sumire to be left there alone,’’ he reluctantly agreed.

Akechi seemed like he to wanted to voice something but didn’t.

\---

Maruki was waiting in a lecture hall with Sumire by his side. Akira took notice that the gymnastic was still in her Metaverse outfit. It meant she still wanted to, even subconsciously, rebel against Maruki’s ideals.

He was going to bring her back.

If he couldn’t wake even one of his friends from the trance they were under, he really was not worth being called a leader of the Phantom thieves.

’’I’ll leave this to you. I won’t be able to attack her and hold back,’’ Crow spoke like reading his thoughts.

As he left he gave Joker’s shoulder short squish.

Their own kind of sign of ’’I’m here’’ to ’’you’ll be okay’’ or ’’good job’’. Akira wonders when did they develop their own language only they both could understand.

\---

Sumire was fast, much more than Joker. His attacks didn’t land while she was quick on her feet, dodging gracefully. Light spells were thrown his way blinding him every time. As much he wanted to avoid hurting Sumire, he had to.

Eventually she fell to the ground, out of both mental and physical energy.

’’It’s okay Sumire. We’ll get through this together.’’ He offered his hand to her.

’’Don’t-! I can’t- I can’t be like you senpai… I can’t be as strong as you,’’ she declined backing away from him and Maruki came to her side.

’’I’ll give you power if that is what you want.’’

Kasumi was lifted from the ground and she lost consciousness. Instead her Persona manifested stronger and aggressive.

Crow joined Joker's side.

’’Let’s do this.’’

Before they could start the battle, all of the other Phantom thieves busted through the door to join the fight. Morgana was a cat again and everyone was in their Metaverse attire.

Akira felt relief beyond imagination, and at the same time bad he had ever doubted them.

They had taken their time, but they all were fighting by his side again.

’’Wha- Is that-?’’ Ann asked.

’’Maruki-sensei?’’ Makoto filled in.

’’Akechi is really out of the hospital?’’ Yusuke wondered.

’’I’ll explain later. Now we have to fight,’’ Joker directed them.

**\---**

If Persona weaknesses reflect their owners, Sumire’s was insecurity and any negative emotions or dark thoughts. She didn’t know how to handle them which is why she ran away from them all together. Went as far as to impersonate her sister just so she wouldn’t have to confront them.

A total opposite to Gorō who thrived in darkness.

He still had trouble every time Akira would express anything positive to him. His eyes would flicker and he would close himself in distrust, questioning any kind of sign of kindness. Akira could see him searching ulterior motives inside his mind.

It was a relief that Crow was good at dodging Cendrillon light spells, while he landed all his dark spells.

Both Joker and Crow came up with a special attack in a spur of a moment. Akira sprung behind the Persona and while distracted the black mask swung his sword in a mad fury.

It worked and the Persona fell disappearing. Sumire was released from the tendrils and Queen and Panther caught her.

’’So this is what you all have chosen?’’ Maruki spoke disappointed.

’’Yeah, what the hell man?! Are you behind this effed up world?’’ Skull shouted.

’’I’m sad you think of it as such,’’ he admitted bitterly.

’’Maruki-sensei…’’ Noir called, but Mona stepped in.

’’If you have a Palace, it’s our job to steal the treasure.’’

’’I rather not fight you,’’ the councillor reasoned, but Crow called him out.

’’You just did the opposite.’’

’’I’ll… meet you here by the 13th of March. Then we can talk and hopefully come to agreement,’’ Maruki spoke softly.

’’We won’t change our mind.’’ Joker said and Crow agreed.

’’You are just looking for an excuse to run away.’’

Maruki was gone out of the room leaving them with Sumire.

Akira would have to do a lot of explaining to others.

\---

When they returned to the real world Sumire also woke up. She apologized, but didn’t seem keen to continue to work with them. The help Akira had given was still unwanted and he was just satisfied with the fact she didn’t run to Maruki again. Makoto and Haru offered to check up on her the following day at school.

There was no Wakaba Isshiki waiting for Futaba at the cafe which seemed to leave the hacker looking lost. Sōjirō also noticed her state, but didn’t seem to be aware of the switch in their reality.

The duo left together and Morgana followed them worried.

Akira felt like a villain.

_If he hadn’t said anything, reminded them of this grim truth then-_

’’You better not be regretting that they woke up,’’ Gorō saw through him again.

The trickster’s silence was as good as a confirmation.

’’They woke up without your meddling, as you heard. Your indecisiveness knows no bounds.’’ the detective sighed. ’’At least I’m on the same level as everyone now.’’

’’Same level?’’ Akira questioned.

’’We have all betrayed you once,’’ Akechi almost sounded proud, smirking.

_They hadn’t, haven’t they?_

’’You should laugh at that Akira, or deny it. Being swept into peaceful dreams and trying to kill you are two different things,’’ Gorō stated his expression growing blank.

’’And yet they feel as bad,’’ he let his true feelings slip through, and yet the other wild card wasn’t judging him.

There was this sense of familiarity in the detective’s gaze.

’’If that’s how you feel, you don’t have to rely on them. It will be a difficult task, but we both can use multiple Personas. I can navigate and you’ll lead. We are able take this mission with just the two of us if needed.’’

Akira was moved, but shook his head.

’’No. It’s fine, I just thought I had already gained the ability to trust again, but then- I guess I’m back to square one.’’

_Why was he suddenly so vulnerable?_

_It wasn’t as if he hadn’t been betrayed before,_

_and yet his heart would_ _grow stronger, and in another moment weaker._

_He couldn't control it._

’’I’m not planning on betraying you again in the near future,’’ Gorō spoke and Akira’s mind calmed.

Too tired from his usual antics at teasing, he responded sincerely.

’’I feel like I can believe that.’’

’’What were you guys talking about?’’ Morgana joined them, apparently he wouldn’t spend the night with Futaba.

’’How you’re again an useless cat, but at least you take less space,’’ Akechi answered brutally, but Akira saw him direct an affectionate smile at the cat.

’’Don’t remind me! I can help you with other ways besides carrying boxes! Like-’’ Mona hissed, but suddenly his ears and tail stood up in a recollection.

’’Like?’’ Akira encouraged him to continue.

’’Never mind. I just recalled something that couldn’t be shared as I was back then.’’ the cat and detective shared something unspoken.

’’I’m surprised you retained the memory,’’ Gorō mumbled and Morgana hopped to his side on the sofa.

Two of Akira’s favorite things in one place, but so far away from him.

’’And again my bed lacks warmth. First you take Morgana away from me and right when the moment prevents itself for us all to share, you leave me alone. Woe is me!’’ Joker sang as he melodramatically fell to his bed.

’’It was out of necessity. Never again will I sleep on your side voluntarily. You are unbearably clingy,’’ Akechi answered, but he could swear there was a blush on the other boy's face.

’’But I want to cuddle with you, Gorō,’’ Akira whined, extending his hands to sides as an exaggerated sign of a ready hug.

’’Drop it, or I’ll dislocate your extended fingers one by one.’’

Shame but expected that Gorō was still in the mindset of not accepting casual signs of affection.

When he would be ready, Akira would shower him with all of his love.

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love writing these two bicker.  
> I kept listened on a loop Persona 4 OST while I writing this, especially ''Heaven'', ''Corridor'' and ''Backside of the TV''.


	5. Blues

Lavenza had appeared before them to elaborated on this new phenomenon that the world had fallen in.

Estimated time for how long they would have until the fusion of the Metaverse and reality merged, matched with the date they were given by Maruki. It was a little too convenient to be a coincidence.

This time they all had combined to the situation at hand. They all had given their power to Maruki even if subconsciously. The final piece had been Maruki’s visit to Gorō which had granted him complete control.

_Akechi wanted to tear him down._

’’That concludes my statement. I will now return to the Velvet room, where I continue to be at your service Kurusu Akira.’’ Lavenza bowed to Akira.

’’What about Gorō?’’ their leader voiced.

’’I’m afraid only one attendant is signed to one wild card. I’m unable to apply for your request for assistance,’’ she shook her head and Akechi huffed dismissively.

’’It’s fine, Akira. I have gotten this far with my own power and will continue to do so.’’

\---

Conquering the Palace was their top priority, but Joker wasn’t as filled with his usual energy of playing charade of overly dramatic protagonist. Maruki was affecting him with not illusion but by playing with Akira's emotions. Gorō saw that as what it really was, manipulation. Whether by choice or subconsciously the concillor was trying to weaken Joker's resolve.

They were similar, held similar goals and motives, but Akira’s was far less ambitious. Joker wasn’t here to change the world, nor was he someone who would make decisions for others, yet Akechi could see the other comparing himself to Maruki.

They wanted to help others.

Lift their burdens.

Save them.

But sometimes they were people like Akechi Gorō, who didn’t want to be saved.

Be left in a feeling of owning someone.

He would strive on his own. Help himself.

_He wouldn’t let Akira bury himself in other’s worries or be in his debt._

Yoshizawa seemed to share the same sentiment. The gymnastic had made a decision to join them to repay Akira for saving her. She was now the 10th member, now known as Violet, to aid them in the Metaverse. Maruki’s Palace should be manageable with their full team and the two wild cards without too many problems.

’’Igor wants to see you,’’ Joker called to him.

Akira had just returned from his visit from the Velvet Room, a place that none except the two of them could see.

Ever since their last visit to their supposed final battle, Gorō was able to see it clearly. When they had been thrown into the middle of Shibuya after leaving the Velvet room, everyone except him had been left questioning where they had just come from. None could see the door to the mysterious space that had been behind them except for Joker.

’’I thought I wasn’t to use the Velvet room?’’ Akechi referred to what Lavenza had stated.

’’Apparently not the same Velvet room as mine. You’re going to get your own.’’

\---

When Akechi entered the Velvet room, it didn’t lead to the jails it had previously.

The room was a hospital room from the looks of it. Fish tanks filled with blue lights were decorating the walls, that made the small space feel less claustrophobic. First he thought that it had only created the illusion they were underwater, but the way the water extended far past Gorō’s line of sight told him they actually were underwater.

He was seated at a medical bed in a strap jacket. Behind the doctor’s desk sat Igor and by his side a young man that looked around his age.

He too had white hair and yellow eyes as Lavenza. He was wearing a blue suit, headphones and bangs covered the left side of his face.

’’Welcome to the Velvet room Akechi Gorō. This is the space between reality and dreams. I am Igor, the master of the Velvet room,’’ the bizarre man greeted him and looked at the space around him intrigued.

’’A hospital is your mind's space, I see… A place of recovering, yet with an undeniable connection to death, as for many humans, it is their last resting place,’’ Igor turned his eyes back at Gorō who had been shuffling in his jacket.

It seemed unlikely he would be able to tear it apart by force. If he is to come here again then he’ll have to learn how to wiggle out-off the strap jacket, but that only works if this place follows logic- Which in turn is unlikely.

’’If you were as kind to sign a contract,’’ Igor offered and Akechi’s hands were magically released, nullifying all his thinking before.

A piece of paper floated to him and he skimmed the fine print turning it around for good measure, but there seemed to be only one requirement.

’’Responsible for all my actions? There is no other catch?’’

’’Doubtful I see, yet are my services few and only able to unlock potential you already wield inside of you,’’ Igor spoke, but Gorō didn’t trust what looked like some kind of imp in a suit.

’’What do you gain of this?’’

’’Humanity’s potential is what I have and will continue to place my trust in. I have witnessed them achieve great things. The likes that could be compared to your defeat of Yaldabaoth. To see you thrive over higher beings, winning against all chances, it is something that gives me joy that nothing else does.’’ The man let out short laugh amused.

Gorō gazed at the paper in his hand.

He hadn’t relied on anyone other than himself this whole time. He could move forward even without this contract. Yet, Velvet room was another link that brought him and Akira together, and a reason why Akechi would continue to fall behind him.

He signed it with a pen that manifested out of his will, and the contract vanished to the flickering lights from his grip. The pencil had transformed to a golden key.

’’You have signed the contract, as such you are able to access the Velvet room by the key in your hand,’’ Igor proclaimed and cards appeared in front of him. ’’Here. Let me tell you about the power of bonds.’’

**\---**

Igor had spread a deck of tarots cards in front of him. Cards that Gorō memorized most of after he accidentally called Akira a fool and the other had taken that as a compliment. He was very petty like that, but that competitive spirit led him always to strive higher. Never to stop with the quest for new knowledge. Knowledge was power after all.

’’You have reached the final ranks of the fool, justice and death. All powers awoken without the power of bounds. Yet you have already unlocked the power of the judgment, sun, hermit, hierophant, empress and of magician. Their power will be increased as you deepen the bonds with them. These, in turn, are the powers just within your grasp,’’ Igor spread more cards on to the table.

Priestess, Emperor, Lovers, Chariot, Wheel of Fortune and Star.

’’Other bonds you have to find yourself,’’ he finished, and Gorō studied them for a while.

He guessed the cards before him referred to the Phantom thieves, Sae-san and Sōjirō. An easy way to limit the number of people the cards could be referring to just by the fact that they knew what Akechi was. And what he had done.

There was one extra card however which significance he couldn't place.

’’So there are only as many bonds as there are cards, 22? Or are the small cards of the tarot deck included?’’ the detective asked.

’’New cards from the deck will manifest as needed,’’ came a screwed answer.

Akechi wasn’t surprised. There existed 78 tarot cards. Humans were able to have only around 150 of meaningful connections, any more than that were one-sided one way or the other.

Honestly even with a promise with new power he wasn’t sure how to approach these ’’bonds’’.

He had once sought connections, but had given up.

Betrayed by everything around him.

Left abused and broken.

And when he found himself a role he was expected to play, no one saw the real him. Just a puppet. Then Akira came to his life and persistently reached out to him.

Gorō didn’t think himself able to do the same to someone else.

Igor gestured to the boy that had remained silent by his side.

’’I’ll be your guide and also Igor’s assistant. Call me Mi… Michael. I think that is an easy enough name for me to remember,’’ he voiced sleepily and the detective’s instinct didn’t miss the context.

’’For you to remember? You speak as if you just decided your own name?’’ Akechi noted.

Igor chuckled.

’’Michael is special even among my assistants.’’

’’I’m in charge of Persona fusion and other such tasks. The stronger you get, the more abilities you unlock,’’ Michael(?) explained and flipped the pages of the book he held. ’’Yet I find all the Persona you have at this moment to be unsuitable for it. They are tethered to you quite strongly. It would cause you more harm than good if they were to be fused together or separately, or any other means to get rid of them. I’ll deny their access.’’

Akechi had guessed that. When Akira had told him about fusions, he had felt motion sick just thinking about it. Executing, electrifying and hanging pieces of himself that were already unstable. Metaphorically or not, he wasn’t keen on losing himself.

_Not again._

’’To acquire new Personas-’’

’’Negotiate already existing one’s to your side. Anything else I should be aware of?’’ he interrupted, and Michael(?) flipped through his book like searching for notes. Maybe he did.

’’No. You’ll be able to access Velvet room in the Metaverse and in the real world at certain places.’’

’’I’ll be on my way out then,’’ he bid, rising to his feet.

’’The way out is just behind you,’’ the assistant advised with a monotone voice.

\---

The ability to trick wondering Persona’s to his side felt terrifying at first. Akechi didn’t want new voices in his head, yet he was too stubborn to lose to Joker who challenged him to see who could acquire more in Maruki’s Palace.

The new Personas didn’t scream inside him, nor even let their presence be known. Only appearing when summoned by him, lacking a personality or strength to resist Crow. They only obeyed, no one tried to take over him unlike when he used any of his already existing ones.

Loki wasn’t anymore causing him memory loss, but he still felt how a blind fury was close to consuming him.

Robin Hood made him more cautious than necessary, made him rethink his every action.

The newly awakened Hell hound limited his movement, like a deer frozen in car’s headlights, an instinct that told his death was close.

It must be what the assistant of Velvet room had meant that his Personas were tethered to him. It was supposed to be this easy to wield multiple Personas.

’’Way to go Crow! You hit a weakness,’’ Oracle cheered.

’’It’s time for an all-out attack,’’ Joker called and yet another shadow was slayed.

’’Man, that was cool Crow!’’ Skull nudged his side painfully.

Gorō gave the hyper blond an annoyed growl.

Sakamoto must have misunderstood his reaction or he just had a more serious thought.

’’Sorry just… You know man, I get I haven’t been the nicest to you since you joined and all…’’

’’Justifiably,’’ Akechi noted.

’’Yeah, but like- It’s not my place to. Futaba and Haru already forgave you and I’ve been still suspicious and stuff. And if something were to happen to my ma, I’d be mad too.’’

Crow hadn’t thought the conversation would take this kind of turn, but he didn’t let his bewilderment show.

’’I get it in on some level. Maybe that’s why it kinda pissed me off,’’ the jock confessed and Gorō could relate to that as he had felt something familiar towards Akira initially.

’’But really, thanks for taking care of Akira after the world went to this shit. Wanna start fresh? Get a bowl of ramen with me and Yūsuke sometime?’’ he offered so awkwardly that even Akechi felt bothered.

’’…I suppose if I have the time,’’ he said more to just get out of the situation.

’’ Of course! Man… Feels good to get that out of my chest,’’ the blond was back to his vulgar self.

**_You have acquired the power of the Chariot arcana._ **

**_A steady force that will push you forward without hesitation._ **

**_Overbearing at times but will inspire a great many necessary changes._ **

**_It will become your strength that will guide you to a brighter future._ **

****

They soon reached a roadblock in Maruki's Palace. Something they would have to go to the Mementos to resolve.

****

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drew Akechi’s Velvet room and you can find it from the following links:
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/RuosteRauta/status/1325272714857340928)   
>  [Tumbler](https://ruosterauta.tumblr.com/post/634183194345865217/)   
>  [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/p/CIB1iFDFREg/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link)
> 
> Akechi in a strap jacket is such an fitting aesthetic that I still wonder why I didn’t come with it sooner. Wanted to drew it but alas I wasn't happy with any of them so only drew the Velvet room. 
> 
> And Social links? Yes, Social links.  
> To those curious, Akechi's social link with Akira is the Sun. Sun symbolizes light in tarot readings. All positive emotions like self acceptance, enthusiasm, personal growth and playfulness. Everything that describes Akira, does it not?
> 
> Supposedly I could have taken the easy route and switched this with Ann’s tarot card the Lovers, but it felt too easy and the Sun is more fitting with its metaphors later in this fic. (Yes, I have tarot cards and I have been passionate since Persona 3.)


	6. Left behind

Akira pushed other members of the Phantom thieves aside, as he felt like he wasn’t in the safe space of mind to talk to them.

Everyone had requested to speak to him in private about something. He usually preferred one to one talks, but his non-confrontational attitude was taking over. You could even say he was running away from it all. Now that nearly everything had returned to status quo Joker didn’t want to shake the foundation. If they wanted to quit or side with Maruki, Akira wasn’t ready to hear it yet. He knew the possibility of such a request was low, but it still existed and Sumire was a convenient escape.

Or he just preferred it when people betrayed him straight up than tried to convince him otherwise.

Which wasn't even a healthy train of thought.

But Akira also felt responsible to make sure Sumire was alright. The gymnastic still kept attending to her practice and was now also scaling a huge medical institute as a Phantom thief while fighting. It would leave anyone drained.

He was invited to watch her practice and to help her shop, and he in turn tried to make her feel welcomed in their group of misfits. A night playing at penguin sniper or a shared gym session.

After everything Sumire was still mentally far away. She spoke about her sister with a mix of envy and grief, but not even accidentally scrapping the topic about her lost identity. She had lived months as her sister and she never brought it up.

Sumire was dealing with it all by herself.

Paying a little too much attention to how others perceived her and had a hard time deciding what to do, even to the point of not being able to choose what clothes to buy for herself. She was apologizing about everything, like she thought that everything she did was a mistake or was stepping on someone’ toes.

Akira had a gut feeling that Gorō was actually better suited to connect with her, as bizarre of a thought it was.

Maybe because they were opposites in every way?

Gorō was someone who lived purely for himself and his own goals, while Sumire had a hard time sticking to her own without someone’s voice to reaffirm her actions. Akira’s weakness was a tad too close to the gymnastic and Akira had yet to fully resolve it himself. He felt like he couldn’t offer what she needed.

The duo had just stopped by a nearby restaurant and the amount Sumire ate, never ceased to amaze the trickster.

’’So you and Akechi-san live together?’’ she asked.

Sumire hadn’t mentioned it until she had witnessed yesterday how the detective came to the cafe as it was about to close. He was usually off to doing his own research on the state of the world and many times Morgana would accompany him.

’’Temporarily. After Gorō graduates we plan to officially move in together,’’ Akira spoke.

’’I- I see. I didn’t know you two were together,’’ she blushed and directed her gaze downwards with shame.

’’No-! I mean- To save expenses and such, as roommates,’’ he panicked.

’’O-Oh. Sorry to presume wrongly senpai,’’ she giggled nervously.

’’It’s okay, I mean-’’ Akira let his words die out flustered.

_You’re technically not wrong, but he never had the opportunity and the required courage to confess his undying love to Gorō._

’’You two are very close. If I didn’t know better, I would have assumed you would have known each other since childhood. The way you two fight together at Metaverse, especially your finishing move, is like a well choreographed dance,’’ she spoke with admiration, with a hit of sadness in her voice. 

This conversation was probably reminding her of the connection to her sister and the hobby they had shared.

Akira could never completely relate as he didn't have siblings of his own, but it must be like losing a long lasting friend, or something closer.

’’Would you like to try making up a finishing move together?’’ he offered and Sumire blinked rapidly.

’’We could?’’

’’Yes. Although I have no idea what it would be. Me and Gorō kinda just improvised the first time and it worked. I’ll leave the move up to you, and I’ll match to it.’’

As Joker, quick wit and making things on the spot was always easier for him than planning.

’’That’s… a lot of responsibility,’’ she spoke seriously and he just laughed it off.

’’If it’s too much then we don’t need to. You are already plenty of help in Metaverse, Sumire.’’

Something like determination crossed to Sumire’s face, a stern frown while she leaned forward.

’’…I’ll do it. I will make it so that it’ll be useful for my gymnastics.’’

’’Putting our training to full use I see,’’ he mused.

’’Now that I think about possible moves we could perform, they wouldn’t be possible without our increased stamina.’’ She tilted her head in thought.

’’Remember that afterwards we’ll have to be able to fight, so nothing too fancy.’’ Akira reminded her and Sumire looked a little brighter.

’’Don’t worry senpai! I’ll pour my heart into this.’’

\---

They tested their new move in the Mementos, and even when Joker was good at improvising, he nearly dropped Violet when she threw herself upwards and he had to catch her. Holding her weight with just one hand with added movement made it even more of a struggle. Luckily he managed to keep his hold and they defeated the enemy without any problems.

Oracle was first to run to the two of them with high-fives.

Now with two special attacks under his sleeve, Akira’s stamina was bleeding out faster than ever. Yet the requests and the time limit were pressuring for him to keep venturing deeper to Mementos. Even with the amount of energy drinks he chucked down, he was having difficulty concentrating.

He felt a little out breath, his throat closing up on him. He was out of steam or he was getting sick. Both options were far from ideal.

’’We should fall back for today. You look exhausted Joker,’’ Mona noted.

’’Everyone else is fine, and I’ll manage. I’ll just… hang back a little,’’ he panted, reassuring more to himself than anything.

’’If you collapse in the middle of battle we won’t be able to help you. It’s dangerous,’’ Queen pointed out.

’’I won’t collapse, trust me. I know when I’m at my limit. I just feel little out of touch, that’s all.’’ 

There was a sense of finality in those words and they all were reluctant to argue, but at the same time his well being was a concern.

’’I can lead for the time being.’’

Everyone stared baffled at Crow who had spoken.

’’You would lead?’’ Noir repeated.

’’Our leader is too stubborn for his own good, and, if he wants to do all the requests because he’s too sympathetic, I say I rather lead than have to watch how he manages to kill himself,’’ the detective spoke methodically.

’’I’m all aboard but wouldn’t Queen be a better temporary leader?’’ Oracle asked and Queen shook her head.

’’No, only Crow can wield multiple Personas besides Joker. It would also serve as good practice for how to act in case something were to happen to Joker during battle.’’

’’A safety measure you mean?’’ Fox rephrased.

’’I’m fine, seriously-’’ Akira tried to speak, but Gorō shot him down even before he began.

’’You’ll be on back-up team until I say otherwise or we are leaving.’’

Joker found himself swallowing his words.

’’Hope we won’t regret this.’’ Skull scratched his neck.

’’Crow-san is quite ruthless, but when the three of us navigated Maruki’s Palace, his back-up and navigation was really useful,’’ Violet vouched.

’’I don’t distrust Violet, but she wouldn’t be able to badmouth a senpai,’’ Panther noted, but Crow didn’t seem to mind everyone's doubts.

’’We’ll go back if this doesn’t work out.’’

\---

It was Joker’s first time as a back-up member. It took him a while to not summon his Persona when they engaged the enemy out of pure reflex. When he got more used to it, he could only admire his team mates from far.

All but him would be occasionally switched out for better combination against the shadows they were fighting.

The best team fitted for Gorō’s preferred style of combat was Haru, Morgana and Sumire.

Noir was all about physical damage, and so were most Violet’s powerful attacks and ability to assist the team to land critical hits. Mona provided as a healer when needed while Crow supported them. They worked great together even if Crow’s leading style was completely opposite to Joker’s.

While Akira tended to target weaknesses, Akechi aimed for critical hits. Akira would always have a determined healer at the party or take the role himself, while Akechi aimed for a quick win, switching out injured party members and healing only when absolutely necessary, preferring to heal outside of battles. No technique above the other, just very different from their usual code.

Honestly Akira felt more of a dead weight at the time than anything.

Everyone was moving forward on their own and they didn’t need Joker to lead them anymore.

_What will happen when he will have to move back to his hometown?_

_Even if it was just temporary they would move ahead wouldn’t they?_

In a sick way he didn’t want things to change.

**_To not be left behind._ **

**_To be abandoned again._ **

They had just about completed their final request, and when they reached a safe space, it was soon time to decide if they were to venture further to Mementos.

’’Joker-senpai, can I ask you something?’’ Sumire addressed him all formally even with their code-names.

’’What is it Violet?’’

’’I know you said that Crow-san unleashes stress by how he fights, but I feel like there is something more to it. Honestly I’m slightly frightened by his change in character. Can I ask you for advice?’’

He was really in no position to share Gorō’s status, but everyone else on the team already knew of the very complicated life of the detective.

’’You can just talk to him and ask. Communication is the key,’’ Akira advised.

Most likely Akechi wouldn’t mind sharing if it would improve their teamwork.

’’Are you sure he wouldn’t mind?’’ Sumire repeated.

’’Yeah. Do you want me to come with you while you talk?’’ he offered the emotional support.

She seemed to consider for a while before shaking her head.

’’No need to senpai, I’ll talk to him.’’

Joker followed with his eyes as she walked over to Crow. Even inside the safe room the detective always tended to separate himself from the rest of the group a little. Sumire must have also felt that distance and that made Akechi extra unapproachable. Now the duo was talking and Akira noted how slowly Crow’s body language wasn’t as closed off, but still remained guarded.

The switch between the black mask alter wasn’t as simple as he would default to it always inside Metaverse. The perpetrator manifested itself in battle, but also sometimes outside it, like when Akira was trying to cross boundaries that he didn’t want to be crossed. It was the kind of extreme defensive measure: Immediate change of tone to a threatening and a readiness to attack.

Otherwise Akechi seemed to shift with his detective prince facade to this very up-front Gorō that Akira had grown used to. Now he seemed to shift with those two while talking to Violet.

Crow wasn’t yet comfortable speaking in his most upfront self in front of Violet, as he must have also picked up Sumire’s uneasiness with his more blood-thirsty side. Joker hoped they could cross that border slowly.

\---

’’So we are continuing to the end?’’ Noir confirmed after their short break

’’If there are no objections,’’ Queen nodded approvingly.

It took Joker a while to realize the room had fallen silent waiting for answer to the previous question.

’’We can. I have gained a little energy from not participating. I can take over in a worst case scenario.’’

He hoped his voice sounded convincing and not the zombie how he felt.

’’You good Crow?’’ Oracle made sure and Crow looked like he saw through Akira, but didn’t call him out.

’’Let’s just get this over with.’’

\---

They reached the final floor and luckily no one was guarding the control panel that connects to the observatory. Futaba disabled it and unlocked a possible new path at the Palace.

’’I think this should slow down the merge of Metaverse and the real world slightly,’’ she commented.

’’We still shouldn’t let our guard down, but now it’s best for us to retreat,’’ the Queen ordered and Noir agreed.

’’Joker needs plenty of rest.’’

’’You speak as if I’m dying.’’ 

Akira knew he wasn’t the type to easily get sick, especially after all he had endured as Takemi’s guinea pig. He would recover fine with just a good night of rest.

’’You could be if you won’t slow down. We all have to be in our best shape to take on Maruki's Palace,’’ Queen noted.

’’But I’m not dying,’’ he argued.

’’When we get to Leblanc I will chain you down to your bed if needed. You _will_ rest,’’ Crow spoke threateningly and Joker smirked.

’’Kinky.’’

’’Or I can kill you here and now. Which option do you prefer?’’ The detective smiled sweetly, seconds from snapping.

’’Okay, okay. I get it,’’ Akira surrendered.

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Putting Minato in the story reminded me of Persona 3’s fatigue mechanic. Honestly Akira going through so much, all the while not getting sick, is unbelievable. Even Souji (P4 protagonist) passes out at one time.
> 
> Also the fact that Sumire is left so much out-off the loop is really sad. The interactions outside Akira are next to none existent. I would have liked for her to have conversations with other party members...
> 
> And a fun thing I noticed while playing, Akechi doesn't have an idle animation when he rejoins as black mask. It fits him, as he doesn't seem to let his guard down even briefly.


	7. Third wild card

Akechi had adjusted to a routine of his own detective work and his therapy sessions.

He didn’t know who was paying for the latter, but he had strong suspicion it was his mother, but he didn’t want to think about it. Just like it had become natural for him to scroll past his mother’s name in his phone. Ignore it and hope it will go away.

Dead were supposed to remain dead, and whatever solace Maruki thought he had brought him was just the councillor's own delusion. Delusion that just because you had the education, and possibly a few bad experiences yourself, you were right to decide what was the best for others. Even if he were to be correct on a statistical greater basis, there would always be those left outside it.

Akechi Gorō was one of them.

Even if the source of his guilt and trauma was stripped away by bringing his mother alive, it meant nothing. All the pain he had gone through had become too much part of him, that without it, he might as well be a different person. It couldn’t be stripped away from him.

Akechi had been tending to the cafe with Boss in Akira’s sick leave. It was almost disgustingly domestic how natural it was for him to spend another month here after Shidō’s arrest. How Sakura Sōjirō could accept him after everything was beyond Gorō’s grasp. The barista didn’t question why he was here nor why the detective didn’t attend school and vanished in the odd hours.

Instead the Boss kept commented how Akechi didn’t need to speak to him so formally to him*. Honestly Akechi didn’t know when he did, as it was natural at this point. He would always switch to his detective prince facade especially when he dealt with adults.

_The mannerisms that had been beaten in to him until he was all bruises._

’’And I know I can’t speak for Futaba, but I rather you at least call me Sōjirō. Every time you go ’’Sakura-san’’ and Futaba is here, I don’t know which one of us you mean,’’ Boss sighed.

’’…I suppose I can try, Sōjirō-san,’’ Gorō promised.

’’Better,’’ Boss smiled lopsidedly. ’’I feel like I should pay you at this point from all the work you do. You should rather hang out with Futaba and the others. Be young. Make friends with them.’’

’’…You are saying that after everything I have done?’’ Akechi repeated.

He knew that teamwork was vital when fighting, but outside of that he had left the individual Phantom thieves members alone. It must be already miserable enough for Sakura and Okumura even if they had, on the outside, forgiven him.

There were times when Takamaki would flinch when she heard him talk, or Kitagawa would tighten the grip on his katana when he would pass him. Small signs that lingered as a reminder how they had to once fight for their lives against Crow in the engine room.

Of doubt.

Of hate.

Of pity.

The last one he hated the most.

’’Yes. It’s hard to reach out to someone, but even more when the other person doesn’t meet them halfway,’’ Sōjirō spoke with confidence.

Akechi knew he, by all means, should. A promise of power waiting for him at the end with his abilities as a wild card, and yet he couldn’t.

He couldn’t.

No matter all possible the gains, he didn’t know how to act around all the Phantom thieves, except their leader.

Akira had forced himself into Gorō’s life and the detective had been drawn to him like a bug to a light source, enchanted.

He couldn’t find a reason for it.

Akechi had thought it was because they were similar, but the more he learned the less likely it was. Then he thought it was because he was jealous of how Akira was so similar, but still everything that he could never be.

Now Gorō suspects he might be obsessed.

He couldn’t specify. The sheer amount of time he spent with Akira should leave him wanting to create some distance between them, but instead lead him to yearn more. Like some drug he had become addicted to and had to resist the urge to cling to it with nails and teeth.

It wasn’t fair to Akira that he tried to bind him. Akechi had been but a puppet himself and he refused to become a puppeteer.

Gorō had to push himself to create the space between them and the other Phantom thieves would be a convenient excuse. All of their numbers were saved in his new phone and a message away from contact.

Yet he didn’t know what to do.

He couldn’t rely on his act of a social butterfly.

**It was fake.**

Small talk, his overall mannerisms; everything Akechi did had relied on that to create a mirage of functional ’’good’’ person.

**It was all fake.**

They all knew, had seen it, so how would he speak to any of them without leaving them just as damaged as he was with all the emotional baggage he was carrying.

The detective didn’t have to be the one to make the first move, as Sakamoto reached to him through text.

_’Yo! Me and Yūsuke are meeting for Ramen this Thursday. You in?’_

Such a simple message, made it seem so easy.

Yet Gorō hadn’t begun to consider Akira his friend until a few months ago. He didn’t have anyone before that if you didn’t count Sae-san, but they only met each other for work.

All of his other connections had been superficial.

_’I have time after my appointment in Kichijōji.’_

_’Sweet! Meet us at Shibuya crossing by the Hachiko statue 5 pm?’_

_’Alright.’_

\---

Gorō had developed a plan that he would master what Akira did.

The other wild card had spoken about the way he matched his Persona’s to his confidants arcana. Akechi hadn’t felt the difference when using them in Metaverse, but maybe it made him at least seem more receptive than he was.

In other words Akechi would have to use Persona fusion. It was a sound plan if he was to become stronger, but in his own Velvet room there hadn’t been any equipment that was similar to Joker’s room. No apparent materials for an execution and he didn’t know what to expect.

Detective found the Velvet room in Shibuya, the same place Akira had once tried to take him to the said room without success.

Akechi wondered what would happen if they both would venture to their respective rooms at the same time.

Would Igor be absent in the other room?

’’You want to fuse these two Personas together?’’ Michael offered.

Despite Igor being the master of this room, his assistant seemed to handle everything.

’’Yes,’’ Gorō confirmed and the sleepy boy called Personas to his side.

Then they were lowered to the water chamber that appeared from the floor. It was filled with water and Personas were thrown to the opposite sides by the current. Akechi could now see both of them outside in the water surrounding the room. Then a school of piranha consumed them- or like minded creatures.

It didn’t matter as the result was the same.

Reduced to nothing, but a lights that flickered through the glass and joined together, becoming one.

’’I’m Nekomata.* Still two generations until my curse is lifted, so I’ll stay by your side to observe,’’ a two tailed cat spoke and then the new Persona vanished. 

The blood and the remains of the devoured Personas still spread in the water tainting it red.

He had thought Akira’s mental space as grotesque, so by default Akechi’s own was even more so. He was far too familiar with death.

’’It is really interesting isn’t it?’’ Michael spoke out loud, fascinated by the result. ’’All life begins from the sea, and yet there is much that we don’t know about it. Sometimes undiscovered species could be swimming right beneath our feet.’’

Gorō wasn’t sure if the attendant was trying to scare him or to hint something in a bigger picture.

’’So those creatures from before exist in ocean undiscovered?’’

’’Could be. Just like Godzilla could.’’ The comment was stated without the needed build-up. A poor joke or something else.

There was certainly too much strange about Michael.

Lavenza had been particular, yes, but you could tell that despite her humane form, she wasn’t one. Michael lacked the refined speaking style and had spoken what he might have been referring to as humans with ’’we’’.

’’What are you?’’ Akechi asked.

Their kinds looked like humans, but could control the Velvet room at their will. A little like mind control, if this space was really reflecting his mind.

’’I’m Michael, your assistant and guide to the Velvet room.’’ At least the attendant said his name with some resemblance of confidence, but still Gorō wasn’t buying that.

’’Are you human?’’

’’I used to be.’’

_That was interesting._

’’Used to? You are no longer one?’’ Akechi hummed.

Michael gave a glance to the Igor's direction in a silent question. His master didn’t react.

’’I can share my story, but it’ll be a long one. Could you take me outside the Velvet room, preferably some place where we could eat? I haven’t eaten anything since 2010.’’

\---

’’You lived with death inside you since the accident that killed your parents. Caused and then prevented the end of the world. Now your soul is used to seal it away.’’ Gorō repeated.

’’Yes, that would be right.’’ Michael rubbed his face to a tissue. There was a trail of empty plates in front of him. Honestly Akechi was more amazed by how much he could eat. Did the residents of the Velvet room even need to eat?

’’But how are you in the Velvet room?’’ he asked.

’’My friend Elizabeth, who also was an assistant at the Velvet room, took my place. She must have thought I would be freed and could join my friends, but it didn’t quite work. My body had already been turned to ash and so my soul freed, I became a ghost of sorts. I was rescued by Igor who took me in. He crafted me a body that I can use. It looks almost identical to the body I had when I died. So despite looking so young, I’m your senpai,’’ Michael spoke deadpan and Akechi didn’t know if he should take it as a demonstration of the other’s weird sense of humor.

’’And your real name?’’ he tried to stick to their topic.

’’I can’t share, I’m sorry. I rather not cause any sorrow to those who were there at my final moments,’’ the third wild card refused and Gorō had a sense of familiar numbness.

He wondered what would have happened if he had died in that engine room, no one but the puppet version with him.

Would any of the Phantom thieves cared? Akira probably would have-

_No, he just wanted to believe that._

’’For them to see me as I was when I died, while they have moved forward- I can’t bear to have them thrown back to it again. Just like when…’’ Michael let his words trail of. ’’Sorry, it’s nothing. There is something about you that makes it easy to talk to you.’’

’’It could be because we are both wild cards,’’ Akechi agreed.

He knew Akira had that effect on him.

’’Could be… Either way thank you for the meal,’’ the attendant left his seat.

’’You aren’t planning to pay?’’

’’Oh, I’m an orphan and whatever money I had when I died must be distributed elsewhere. It’s as the saying goes; you don’t take anything with you when you die,’’ Michael spoke absentmindedly.

’’Fascinating.’’ Gorō faked a smile, fighting an inner battle to not grab the other by the collar.

’’I’ll introduce you to Persona sacrifice as my way of thanks,’’ Michael offered as an afterthought and Akechi let him off.

It didn’t matter.

He supposed he had the money as he didn’t pay rent in this alternative universe.

**_Fated encounter of luck’s ups and downs._ **

**_Luck is but good karma that has accumulated over time to its boiling point._ **

**_Enjoy the riches, opportunities and knowledge it gives you._ **

**_We bless you with the power of the Wheel of fortune that will guide you to a brighter future._ **

****

_\---_

****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Akechi speaks formally with adults. There are 3 speaking styles in Japan and he speaks using the middle one (ていねいご ) teineigo to adults. Pretty common in Japan and doing otherwise is rude (for example Ryūji speaks casually to adults, how rude.) Using teineigo could be seen as polite, yet it creates distance or sometimes a wall between the speakers. Especially if one of you speaks casually and the other formally which Akechi does.
> 
> **This nekotama is not the same as the one Joker would fuse. Nekotama is a cat youkai (demon/spirit) that has associations with necromancy. In Akechi's case this Persona would belong to the Death arcana.
> 
> Drew Minato’s outfit design and you can find it in the following links:
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/RuosteRauta/status/1326186119206154241)   
>  [Tumbler](https://ruosterauta.tumblr.com/post/634412523573149696/)
> 
> Two dead boys talking! -Well, only one of them is dead this time.
> 
> Reason for Minato being Wheel of fortune is because it took great luck, that could be nearly called fate, that these two wild cards could meet. It can also mean taking action when you don’t have control over your life. Change is also something both Wheel of fortune and Death arcana share.  
> Why Minato isn’t the World arcana, is because a wild card has to go through the fool’s journey to reach it, as seen from Persona 3 to Persona 5.


	8. Shapeshifter

Akira hadn’t been really sick like this in a while. The last time he had caught a cold was three years ago, but according to his parents he was well enough to still attend school. Thus he really couldn’t remember a time he had really been bedridden.

Takemi came to look how he fared and diagnosed that he had hit the limit and activated the body's emergency brakes, or so she called it, after accumulating stress over time. He should be happy to take a moment to rest, but Akira was too on edge for that. When your main coping mechanism is to cope by doing things, the resting part wasn’t easily fulfilled.

He supposes if he keeps running in circles between the cafe and the attic looking for things to do, Gorō will fulfill his threat and actually chain him down when he comes back.

’’Stop running around!’’ Morgana was pushing his paws to Akira’s hair.

’’I’m not,’’ he protested holding back a yawn.

’’You are! To the bed with you!’’ Mona commanded and when the trickster wasn’t first to do as told, he bore his claws into the sick boy’s skull.

’’Okay, okay…! I get it Mona,’’ he whined pathetically for mercy.

’’Not until you are back at the bed.’’

Akira stumbled back to bed and Morgana jumped to his stomach to prevent any other means of easy escape.

He should have brought a book with him if this was going to end up like this. 

Akira reluctantly closed his eyes.

\---

He was woken up after what felt like minutes by a message to the group chat. He actually had managed to sleep for three whole hours.

_’Okay, Akechi is good in my book. He offered to pay for our meals!’_ Ryūji announced.

_’A favor that, I too, appreciate,’_ Yūsuke agreed.

_’This is cheap compared to the trend cafe’s I have been to,’_ Gorō commented.

_’Flex on us will ya rich boy!?’_ Futaba joined.

_’Gorō being nice without a drawback? The world must be ending,’_ Akira proclaimed.

_’You should be careful with what you say. Let’s just say paying voluntary for other’s meals felt better than being coerced to it,’_ Akechi answered.

_’Ooo! Details! We need the deeds!’_ Futaba demanded.

Akira couldn’t help but to feel proud. He should reward the detective for a socialization well done.

_’_ _Let’s go to a date and I’ll be paying Gorō.’_

_’No. You are sick and you are going to stay home.’_

_’Make me.’_

_’I will, if I have to.’_

_’Things are getting heated here. What did I miss?’_ Ann joined the group.

_’Did the three of you go somewhere?’_ Haru followed suit.

_’_ ** _*attached picture*_ ** _’_ Ryūji sent a picture of Yūsuke in the midst of a passionate speech and Gorō attentively listening.

_’What a wonderful picture. I feel happy to see you get along,’_ Haru offered.

_’’I agree. It is a good shot, even if the composition could be better,’_ Yūsuke said.

_’Hey! I tried my best here!’_ Ryūji argued. 

_’I’m not keen on the idea of to being photographed when I do not notice,’_ Akechi typed.

_’Is it because Akira?’_ Ann asked.

_’Akira you caused him trauma!’_ Futaba called him out.

_’I think it’s just because all the paparazzi and fans are stalking my dear Gorō,’_ Akira answered jokingly but was left staring at the previous picture.

A weird feeling passed through him.

_Maybe soon Gorō wouldn’t need him anymore._

The detective seemed to share secrets with Morgana and now he was spending time with other Phantom thieves without his encouragement.

Ridiculous that he felt insecure, but he couldn’t help himself.

The way Akechi had led the team and how he was growing stronger as a wild card. Akira couldn’t help but to wonder if he was holding him back. That maybe they should share the responsibility of leading in the Metaverse from now on.

By the experience curve Akechi would grow stronger faster than him, and Akira felt that distance.

_He didn’t want to be left behind._

No, he shouldn’t think that.

However Gorō would grow, and Akira would support him.

_He would bury his emotions like always._

_It was for the best._

\---

After an hour or so Akechi returned upstairs.

’’Gorō! Welcome home!’’ Akira joyfully called spreading his arms.

’’Don’t you dare try to hug me when you are sick.’’ The other boy backed away.

’’So when I’m not sick, I can?’’ Joker saw an opening.

’’You are impossible,’’ detective exhaled.

’’All the more reason for me to get better,’’ he joked.

Gorō ignored the trickster and instead offered him a bottle.

’’I brought you something.’’

Akira read the label.

’’This is… honey?’’

’’It has a large number of vitamins. One teaspoonful should be enough for one day. Also bought orange juice so you can stay hydrated and a few other things… Why are you staring at me like that?’’ Akechi interrupted himself, clearly feeling uneasy under the other’s gaze.

Akira felt silly about worrying about being forgotten, while the detective had just proved him wrong.

’’I’m looking forward to when we officially move together,’’ he hid his relief.

’’We are already basically living together. You are acting odd.’’

\---

Sumire had offered to come over after Akira had assured her he felt better. She seemed to have something weighing on her mind and he was trying to live up to her idea of a good senpai. The cafe was empty, Sōjirō was off somewhere with Futaba and Morgana had accompanied the detective again somewhere.

In the middle of the conversation with the gymnast Sumire confessed. Akira hadn’t expected their meeting to go like this. His motives to avoid other Phantom thieves had back-fired badly and he had given her a wrong idea.

’’I’m sorry. My heart belongs to someone else,’’ he apologized.

’’It’s Akechi-san isn’t it?’’ she didn’t miss a beat and Akira was taken back by just how understanding she remained.

’’Don’t worry senpai, I knew already I would be rejected,’’ she reassured.

’’I guess I’m that obvious, aren’t I?’’ he stated.

She had seen the two of them interact together the least out of the other Phantom thieves. That must have meant all the others could read into Akira’s crush like an open book.

’’Yes. I’m amazed that he hasn’t caught on, but may I ask why you haven’t confessed?’’ Sumire asked, curious.

’’It’s… complicated,’’ Akira didn’t elaborate.

There were two worst case scenarios how confessing to Gorō could end up in Akira’s mind.

Scenario one was that Akechi didn’t feel the same and he would feel betrayed. He would interpret it as Akira never having cared about him as a person but just a shallow crush on a celebrity. As someone who would have overlooked Akechi's faults, because Akira had had an ulterior motive.

Of course it wasn’t true, but to convince Gorō otherwise once he believed something would be damn near impossible. He would grow distant and become even more closed off now that his trust had been betrayed. Maybe even revert to hating Akira again.

Scenario two would be the one where Akechi felt the same, but he couldn’t comprehend how Akira grew to like him in turn. He would demand proof, but ultimately wouldn’t believe any of it and would think Akira was lying just to appease him, or because of ’’altruistic tendencies’’. And, ultimately, Akira would have to accept that Gorō wasn’t or would never be ready for a relationship.

Both would leave them broken and possibly worst off where they started.

The safest way to avoid both scenarios was to simply remain as they were; dangling in the line of platonic friends. Neither of them defining their relationship.

But this was all just Akira’s own cowardice and excuses. 

He just wanted _stability._

After being thrown to new situations and friendships without his own input, he just wanted things to remain the same. To not change.

Any kind of change was a step to unknown, to something he couldn’t control.

There was comfort in Akira’s life before he came to Tokyo. The same mundane life, that while it wasn’t enjoyable, it was predictable. No nasty surprises, just life towards a far-away future he still couldn’t picture.

There was thrill in being a Phantom thief yet it was demanding; High risks that involved high rewards. While it had lasted a short while Akira felt like on top of the world, but after nearly a year it had drained him empty.

The risks were higher than ever, but this time the reward was nearly non existent. There was no joy in bringing down Maruki, no pleasure in changing his heart, as from what they so far knew, he hadn’t committed any atrocities.

Joker understood his thoughts and even to some level agreed with the councillor.

The only thing considered a reward was that things would return to normal, but Akira was in a weird space where he didn’t know what **normal** was anymore.

No powers, just him without the mask of Joker.

Was he honestly strong enough to handle that?

Would his friends stay with him when he wasn’t a reliable leader in the operations?

He didn’t know.

He couldn’t predict so far into the future

**and it was terrifying.**

Sumire noted Akira’s fallen expression and spoke carefully.

’’I still think you should be upfront with Akechi-san. You are planning to move together. Not acting would only be deceiving yourself.’’

It was clear she spoke from her own experience and it had led her astray. Away from her sister Kasumi instead of bringing their original goal closer.

’’I will. First we should confirm the route to the treasure so this won’t hinder our progress,’’ Akira lied.

Akechi wasn’t the type of person to let his personal feelings get in the way of battle, when he had a goal in front of him.

_He didn’t hesitate, unlike Akira._

’’Look at you lecturing me, Sumire. I’m sorry. You don’t have to remain friends with someone that dares to make you give them love advice right after rejection,’’ the trickster chuckled in vain, but she shook her head.

’’It’s alright senpai. I just had to get it out of my chest, as should you. I feel better. Little disappointed but hopeful for the future.’’

’’I’m sure you'll find a perfect match for you,’’ he reassured.

Now that she was more comfortable in her own skin, as Sumire, the right person would certainly notice her and for the right reasons.

’’Thank you. I say that and despite it, I still think I need a little time to myself. I’ll fight when needed of course!’’ the gymnastic spoke with a smile on her face, but Akira understood.

She wasn’t one to express negative emotions in front of others.

’’Take all the time you need. Text me when you’re good.’’

’’Thank you senpai.’’ She bowed and left the cafe.

\---

Akira had recovered enough to attend school, but everyone was still against securing the route for Maruki’s treasure, thus the trickster forced himself to face his friends. Sumire had made Akira reconsider his actions. It wasn’t fair to others to keep them in the same place just because it was his own comfort zone. He would only be deceiving himself if he continued to ignore them just because his desire for nothing to change.

He would face Gorō later, but he would face the other Phantom thieves first.

Their one to one conversations were the farthest from Akira’s self-inflicted nightmares. They all apologized in their own sincere way. Everyone rephrasing their vows of motivation when they joined the Phantom thieves initially. It was something which connected them all: how they all had been wronged and wanted to create a world by their own hand where such things wouldn’t happen.

Akira was overcome with relief and joy.

Even Futaba, who had witnessed a world with her mother alive, had chosen to rather live in her stead towards the future.

All of their Persona’s had grown to new heights which reflected their conviction.

Akira never had experienced such a thing himself.

The trickster could only change between Personas, not have one evolve. He hadn’t yet found himself, was still searching, was still shifting between new ones with a flick of wrist.

Even Gorō, another wild card, had his go to Personas and a clear conviction and a sense of self. Something that Akira, even after everything he had gone through, lacked.

Or maybe exactly because of it?

Adapting to others was easy, holding to something and sticking to your mind unbending was hard.

All his other friends had something they strive towards, but was what he was heading towards?

He had been happy to change hearts and before it he had been satisfied with just going with the flow. He needed a direction, something concrete like Ann’s dream as a model or Yūsuke’s passion for art.

What did he have?

He had multiple part-time jobs and served as a sponge to consume all possible knowledge, but what did he want?

Nothing it seemed. Even Maruki hadn’t fulfilled any of his wishes in this new reality.

_Just a hollow shell of a person._

’’You’ve been sighing non-stop,’’ Morgana noted.

’’Mental struggles, nothing special,’’ Akira said nonchalantly. ’’Feels good to carry you around again. You don’t need to follow Gorō?’’

’’No. He has plans with others from our group.’’

’’He has gone a long way from the starting point, hasn’t he?’’ Akira pondered and Mona must have picked something from his tone.

’’Yes, but so have you. You should hold your head up high and stand tall! Even if the Metaverse will be gone, our job as Phantom thieves will never end,’’ he meowed.

’’I don’t think that is something that will guarantee us a living.’’

’’Job of heroes never comes from profit!’’ Morgana hissed and he laughed.

’’I know, I know. I just- How would you describe me?’’ Akira asked and Mona calmed down.

’’Describe you?’’

’’Honestly I feel like a shapeshifter. I can get along pretty much with anyone if I so desire. I have no passionate hobbies or goals. I’m just going with the flow,’’ he confessed.

So far pretty much all the things that happened around Akira had been out-off his control. Everything he had ended up doing never led to desired results and only by accident to something good.

Just like how his first attempt to help someone had led to him being prosecuted instead.

Or how he ended up deleting his Metanavi every day and would have never used it, if it hadn't been activated on its own.

He wouldn’t have never even awoken his Persona, if Ryūji hadn’t been in danger.

He was just reacting to things around him.

Akechi was making the effort for the longest time to reach his goals, even if it was revenge and not the healthiest way to express the injustice he experienced. The detective is always planning ahead while Akira is just living in the moment.

_But moments don’t last forever._

_They never will._

’’I don’t see it as a bad thing. Even if you act a little different around every person you are still Akira. You stick to your morals at all times and take action when needed,’’ Morgana said and paused. ’’For a long time I was clinging to the idea that I wanted to be human, like you. At times I still feel weird that I can change shapes and have a hard time defining myself, but then you offered me a place to belong. A home. I feel like I can change however much when I have a place to return to.’’

’’Place to call home…’’ Akira wondered and noticed where he had walked into.

It was a dog park. Many of them were running free wagging their tails, some were training with their owners and some learning new tricks.

’’Look at all these dogs!’’ Akira called in delight while Morgana sunk deeper inside his back.

’’You’re really planning to get one of these? I-I’m against it! I’ll fight if one of them comes close!’’

’’Don’t worry. Households with cats and dogs, cats tend to be on top of the food chain,’’ Akira reassured.

’’Tend to? It’s not guaranteed!’’ Morgana meowed distressed.

’’Let’s just watch for now,’’ he entered through the gates.

Many of the dogs didn’t seem to bother Mona, few were curious but backed away as the cat hissed. An owner of a shiba inu, named Hayato, had taken a keen liking to Morgana, who was wondering about adopting a cat herself. Mona also appreciated the way she rubbed his ears and seemed to tolerate her barking dog.

Akira wasn’t sure of his future, but he wished it would include him, Gorō and a good amount of pets.

He would like to create a safe place for them to call home.

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by the lyrics of Beneath the mask Persona 5 ost. Here Akira is showing his tagged imposter syndrome. 
> 
> Imposter syndrome means that the person makes light of their own struggles compared to others, and while succeeding, thinks it’s by accident.  
> This is common for example in households or in societies that emphasize success and give mixed feedback to the person with it. The person with this syndrome ends up feeling like an imposter as the views of others don’t match with their lower self esteem.
> 
> I feel after Akira witnesses so many of his close friends struggle, he would compare his own struggles with theirs unfairly and places himself the lowest. Also he seems the kind of person to place the needs of the others very high instead of his own. Just all my headcanon, of course.
> 
> Also props to Sumire for being the only girl to confess to the protagonist. She took it super well when I rejected her. (I didn't date anybody and wow are valentine's day and the white day events cute. I got to give Sōjirō flowers!)


	9. Grudges

Ignoring his mother’s name on his phone number list had become almost automatic at this point. What Gorō had heard from the others, they had broken away from Maruki’s actualization just by remembering how things were supposed to be. He knew his mother was dead, so it must work differently for him and he suspected the reason was that he was Maruki’s final target.

Never had it crossed his mind to delete her number.

It served as a reminder of the fake reality they were in.

He felt thankful that she had yet to contact him and it seemed unlikely she would. In this reality he still had been placed in a foster home, but it was after a child neglect complain. Akechi had stayed with them, gotten the same last name he now held and only a few years ago his mother had gained custody over him again. They seemed to be distant in this reality.

A proof how Maruki seemed unable to bend reality as much as he would have wanted.

Or Gorō himself couldn’t imagine a world where the two of them would be happy anymore.

Morgana had offered to scout out the bakery for him today to look for clues. When it returned, Akechi didn’t receive any useful information other than his mother had gone to trial to testify against Shidō after his arrest.

Gorō didn’t remember or could think of her to be strong enough to have done that of her own free will. She was a person always to bow her head down; to the people gossiping about her occupation, to a customer he had once saw slap her. She took it all with a quiet smile.

Maybe that was also strength, but it seemed more as only accepting the abuse of a cruel reality.

’’Maybe you should talk to everyone about this,’’ Morgana meowed on Akechi’s shoulder, no doubt wanting him to speak to Akira.

’’No. This will be gone once we defeat Maruki.’’ He closed his phone.

Joker was still in no shape to conquer a Palace and was still mentally wavering. Wavering with attachment to Maruki and the shape of this world. Akechi couldn't pinpoint the exact reason, but he was certain it was because Akira was too emphatic for his own good again.

’’But-’’ The cat tried but the detective continued.

’’To tell anyone is a waste of time.’’

Morgana kept giving him this look, ears and tail lowered.

He hated it.

They didn’t speak as they went to the library again. 

There was a recent news article about how Akechi and Sae-san had solved cases he never had. The world was still twisted to be convenient for him and the Phantom thieves. Akira hadn’t been caught in this reality nor Gorō had done anything shady. 

How Shidō was caught in this situation was out of his grasp. 

Maybe in this reality where Metaverse and reality would fuse, no Metaverse ever had existed? Without a bullet proof cover for his crimes and Akechi not serving as his assassin, Shidō would have been easy to catch.

There was only so much you could learn from searching direct sources, so the detective searched with keywords slightly off. He was searching cases like mental or psychotic breakdowns to confirm his theory, but he found none **.** Only like minded cases he found were dated between years 1999 to 2010. Then something clicked inside Akechi’s head.

_’’I haven’t eaten anything since 2010’’_

Digging deeper, the cases he found were about apathy syndrome, a disease that had been appearing only around Tatsumi Port Island. Then the epidemic had disappeared as mysteriously as it had started. A quick glance at the people who were reported with the disease yielded interesting results. Many without an regard for the age nor previous physical health issues had also gotten the syndrome.

Gorō called up Sae-san to see if she still could give him access to the police network in this reality. He was indeed granted permission and looked through the reported death certificates and the causes of deaths around the age range he was now searching for.

Two of them were interesting. One was a minor that had been severely wounded by a gun shot and died, Aragaki Shinjirō. But the most interesting one was where they couldn’t find a cause of death. 

Arisato Minato, who looked nearly identical to a person Akechi knew as Michael.

\---

His theory about Igor not always being present was proven right as Akechi entered his own Velvet room. Only Michael was present staring at the ocean surrounding them.

’’Welcome to the Velvet Room,’’ the attendant turned to him. ’’I’m sorry, Igor is not currently present, so I shouldn’t offer any of the Persona fusions or-’’

’’I found all your friends Arisato-kun,’’ Gorō proclaimed.

Minato seems paralyzed for a second before his face twisted to something between frustration and disappointment.

’’I see. What do you want?’’

’’Nothing. I just stumbled upon the information by accident.’’ A lie, but that wasn’t anything new to Akechi. He had lied his whole life.

There was a pause before Arisato spoke again.

’’How is everyone?’’

’’You are interested?’’

’’Yes. Like I said, I just don’t want to bring them bad memories. No harm to them if you're willing to share?’’

’’And what do I get from this?’’ He asked and Minato was quick to catch his trick.

’’So that was your goal.’’

’’I would rather call it a fair trade.’’ Gorō smiled innocently.

It was a pay back for the trouble the other boy had caused. The detective was spiteful like that and there was also the satisfaction to finally have covered some truth previously left unknown. Two dead students were both members of a school club named SEES. The club didn’t have a reported meeting place or descriptions of their activities. It had been most likely only approved on the surface level by the school and not investigated any further, as a member of the club was a daughter of someone who owned the school itself and also a student council president.

It all had sparked Akechi’s interest and which had now given him an upper hand in a negotiation.

’’Alright. I’ll give you rights to triangle fusion. I would hope that would suffice,’’ Arisato agreed with not much reluctance.

There was a part of Gorō that wanted to see what more he could get out of the dead wild card, but he decided against that. As much as he was still willing to go to great lengths to assure that Maruki would be taken down, Akechi wouldn’t go searching for too much power.

It might break him if he wasn’t ready for it.

Mind shattering to pieces under the weight of too many Personas.

’’Amada Ken is now attending his second year in high-school **,** Sanada Akihiko is a just graduated police officer, Takeba Yukari is a professional actor who does her own stunts. Junpei Iori is a junior baseball coach, Yamagishi Fūka is a big name in the technology industry, Kirijō Mitsuru has taken over her family’s corporation and Aigis is working under her as a bodyguard. Anything else I wasn’t too keen on prying,’’ he recounted the information he had been able to find.

’’What about Koromaru?’’ Arisato spoke disappointed.

’’Koro…maru?’’ Akechi repeated, as it was an unusual name for a person.*

_Maybe it was someone old, maybe an unofficial advisor to their SEES club?_

’’He's a dog who was also a Persona user with us,’’ The other wild card spoke and it shouldn’t have been a surprise as Morgana was a cat.

The detective racked his brain for a while.

’’There might have been a dog in one of the pictures with Amada Ken.’’

’’Good. He’s getting old, I hope I can see him then,’’ Minato noted, his lips curved only a bit upwards.

’’You are going to return to your sealed form then?’’ Akechi conducted and the other hummed in agreement.

’’Yes. As much as I appreciate Elizabeth’s gesture, I’m still dead. Even if I can venture short times away from the Velvet room, I’m bound to it. As long as you’re my guest I can’t sever the contract, but afterwards I’m able to.’’

It was ultimately his choice, but Gorō found the conclusion the dead boy had come to be a waste of chance he was given. All this trouble Elizabeth had gone through, just so Arisato could serve as an attendant in the Velvet room and then disappear without a word to his friends.

_Just selfish._

’’What was it like?’’ Akechi found himself asking.

’’Being dead?’’ Minato questioned.

’’Dying.’’

Gorō was tormenting himself, asking pointless questions to appease his own mind.

Whatever he would do with this information?

Find comfort that it wasn’t as bad as he imagined, so it would be easier for him to yet again justify all the lives he took?

Punish himself if it was worse?

Or was it to press to his mind again how his mother was indeed dead?

_Visualize it over again._

_A limp lifeless body that laid motionless on the bathroom floor._

_Empty medicine bottles next to her._

_Young him sobbing trying to shake her awake._

**It had been futile as she had already died.**

’’Tired. I remember feeling very tired,’’ Minato answered.

Akechi didn’t know if it appeased him or not.

\---

Leaving the Velvet room left Akechi feeling exhausted yet mentally too restless at the same time. Scrolling through his phone for a distraction he read the newest messages on the group chat.

There was something that the detective couldn’t quite put into words how casually everyone of the Phantom thieves would now reach out to him. Offers to hang out, or just to share a meme they had found. Akechi felt overwhelmed by the reception that had begun after sharing a simple meal together with Sakamoto and Kitagawa.

He wasn’t expecting anything to change, yet it had.

Even Yoshizawa, who was the most cautious of him, had offered for them to go jogging together. It reminded Gorō how he had neglected his usual exercise routine when he had been stuck in rehabilitation in the hospital. He still had stamina to fight in Metaverse, but not as much as he used to.

He accepted the offer, but replied on the shared understanding that the gymnastic wouldn’t over-work herself and become a liability in battle. 

They met at Inokashira park alone, no Akira with them. If he had, the detective would have suffocated the trickster for trying to exercise while still recovering.

She and Akira had spent a lot of time together before he had in a formal way forgiven every other member of the Phantom thieves. Akechi supposes it was a safer way for him to connect to her than to re-establish old bonds one at a time. He didn’t blame him for it.

Yet there was something disturbingly positive about Yoshizawa. She wasn’t all smiles like before when she had impersonated her sister, but still was trying too hard. Akechi felt disgusted as she reminded him of his own facade he had played _-and at some part still did-_ thus he would point out every time she faked another smile.

She surprisingly seemed to appreciate it, taking it as some kind of potent assignment from a senpai.

’’This is where you and Akira would usually train together?’’ Akechi asked and Yoshizawa just stared at him trying to stutter words out.

_Maybe he ended up sounding accusing, even if not by intent._

’’Y-Yes. I also brought him to see my trainer. She gave him a boxing lesson,’’ she answered and he made a sound of acknowledgement as they continued their jog in silence.

\---

Akechi and Yoshizawa were similar, both indebted to Akira in some way or another, and in a way he had saved them from themselves. Both also had fought Joker and the Phantom thieves for their own self serving goal.

They were an addition to the already formed team instead of really belonging to it. He saw that she also kept to herself in their group chat and Gorō could relate to the feeling

Despite all her talent, she had a very low opinion on herself. She would over focus on details, mimicking people she admired, in performance with her sister and in Metaverse Joker.

When Joker had explained everything to Violet as they climbed, Crow had listened. She had awoken a Persona and had fought only twice before. In their battles inside Maruki’s Palace, she would use her saber as if it were a knife like Akira, until Akechi had pointed out a better way to use a saber instead of slashing was stabbing.

She was quick to learn, but whenever in danger Yoshizawa would revert back to slashing instead of stabbing.

’’Um, Akechi-san. About what you said about Shidō before-’’ She began and he had grown tired of her threading around him carefully.

’’Yes, all true. Are you afraid of me?’’

_You shouldn’t talk to me._

_You can’t comprehend the extent of what I have done._

’’You are sharp Akechi-san, frighteningly so.’’ She smiled. ’’I was at first, but now I think I’m seeing you as what you truly are.’’

Even Akechi didn’t know ’’what he was’’, but he didn’t comment on it.

’’When only the three of us fought together, you were impressive. Reliable, even if ruthless. I’m sure the other’s have noticed it too, after you were the only one to stand against Joker back at the Mementos. You are very strong willed and will make a great leader,’’ she offered.

’’I don’t mind you going straight to the point. You don’t need to butter me up to ask for a favor. I won’t slay you like the shadows we fight against, and only judge your request as it is,’’ he analysed Yoshizawa’s intentions.

She laughed, still clearly hanging to the feeling of walking on eggshells.

’’How can you stay confident?’’

’’Confident?’’ Gorō said in disbelief.

’’Self-assured and not afraid to stand out. I fear I’m just… relying on everyone else as I go. First my sister and then senpai. I hesitate taking steps towards my own goals, fear disappointing others, and for a long time, I ran away from that. I would like to be able to fight, and also compete on the gymnastics for myself,’’ Yoshizawa spoke openly until coming to a realization. ’’Ah! What I mean is, I respect you and would like to know how you do it, Akechi-san? Could you share your perspective?’’

Akechi wasn’t the best person to ask advice, especially for emotional matters. Even in his detective facade he would find a way to dodge questions like this, or spat out superficial lies.

He really didn’t know where to take this conversation but Yoshizawa was staring at him expectantly.

’’Even I fought for someone, or at least justified it so. As much as I dislike the lukewarm connection of people, we humans are social creatures like it or not. Some more than others.’’ Logical approach, no emotions needed for him to provide such an answer.

’’But… I would like to stand better on my own. Fight for myself,’’ Yoshizawa requested.

’’Then do so.’’

’’Huh?’’ She wore a dumb-founded expression.

’’Didn’t you hear me? Just do as you desire. If that is what you seek, then plan the steps to your goal and fulfill it. I can’t help you with that, only you can,’’ Akechi stated as it was obvious.

She stared at Akechi gaping, before giving him a small bow, grateful.

’’You are very harsh, but I think it's just what I needed. Thank you Akechi-san. I will put that into good use in battle.’’

**_You have witnessed the birth of a star arcana._ **

**_Still a small light, but with a potential to shine as bright if not more than the sun you know._ **

**_A light that will serve as a guide mark for your own journey._ **

**_It may fade or disappear but to your own accord it will guide you to a brighter future._ **

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *丸 or read as maru (circle, round, month), was once a common kanji to end boys names. Nowadays it has been replaced by the kanji 郎 Rou/Ryou (son). Gorō's name for example is written with this.  
> Similarly ko 子 (child) is commonly used in the names for girls. For example Persona 4's Yukiko.
> 
> Persona 3 takes place in 2009-2010 and Persona 5 is commonly acknowledged to take place in 2016-2017. I based how the Persona 3 characters were doing from Persona 4 arena and ultimax.  
> I’m shedding tears because Shiba inu’s live only 12 to 15 years and Koromaru is getting old, if not already dead and I’m sad. (Sorry my Persona 3 fanboy is showing. Koromaru is my favorite mascot for the franchise.)
> 
> I really like Sumire but I really feel bad how she developed from 8 rank onwards. She is really over reliant on the protagonist and in the end she wants to dedicate her performances to the protagonist and I’m like ’’No! Take that stage as your own! Dedicate it to yourself! Have some confidence!’’.
> 
> I find she has characteristics of dependent personality disorder (DPD). She seems to have trouble thinking and making decisions by herself. She also tries to please others, a little like the detective prince facade as I noted. Her final development doesn’t feel good as I didn’t romance her, nor would I have felt comfortable doing so while she is still clearly struggling with her own identity. I hate ’’cure the romantic partner’’ trope with a burning passion.  
> Thus I think Akechi could give her a push to the right direction, saying ’’Screw everyone, think on your own.’’
> 
> I see the dynamic of Sumire and Akechi being similar to Futaba and Akira. Sorry, but I just don’t see anything romantic in their interactions (which are lacking to begin with) but please suit yourself!
> 
> And yes, I have given them a social link!  
> Star in the arcana readings is referring to healing, renewal, peace and hope and optimism for the future. Both Akechi and Sumire are in a process of healing, so I find it fitting.


	10. Ghost of memories

When Akira was deemed healthy enough by his team’s standards, it was only a week until their deadline. Never had they grazed so close to it before and he was dedicated to reach the treasure today. 

He could only hope they wouldn’t run to anymore roadblocks.

Maruki’s research facility was vast. So far it had been just huge corridors until they got to the password closed doors. They had to consume Maruki’s past in a form of VHS-tapes to proceed through the doors. See how he slowly gave up everything to pursue research, that the councillor thought, would bring salvation to everybody.

Akira didn’t still quite process it.

Maruki had helped him to cope better and had been someone who he had trusted, yet the man held this much pain inside and never told anyone. Well, more specifically to the trickster himself.

Akira thought himself as a good listener and would have offered help if only he had been asked, but that hadn’t happened. Ultimately he was just a high-school student when he was stripped away of his abilities in the Metaverse, while Maruki was an adult with a job. Their statuses were too far apart.

_What would happen with the confrontation with Maruki? He had a Persona and the same unyielding attitude as them._

**_It could become a massacre._ **

_Was there no way to resolve this peacefully?_

Joker was so deep into his thoughts that a shadow managed to ambush them. Noir was left staggered after a hit to a weakness. Akira had to think fast, but before he could change Noir out of harm's way, Crow and Violet pulled off a well coordinated move together.

Crow had reverted to his precise wielding of a saber while Violet let her swings become more wild. They managed to create a fury of stabs and slashes that were devastating to the enemy shadow.

’’Wow! That was awesome!’’ Oracle called.

’’We did it Crow-senpai!’’ Violet joyfully bounced to the detective, shadow defeated, like a proud student.

’’After so much practice in the real world, I would have been disappointed if we were to not succeed,’’ Crow spoke in a scolding tone.

’’Look at you two getting along.’’ Joker was grinning as he took note of how Sumire was calling Akechi a senpai now.

’’Not as much as Joker-senpai and Crow-senpai,’’ Violet offered and Joker nearly choked on his own spit.

’’Do you want to take turns leading, so we won’t have a repeat of the last time?’’ he offered to Crow, successfully changing the subject.

Akira had to acknowledge he was distracted and they still seemed to have a long way ahead of them. Gorō favored physical attacks while Joker leaned towards magical ones, so they balanced each other. The team could venture farther without getting too tired with the two of them leading.

’’You are admitting you were wrong to push yourself? You might still have salvageable brain cells it seems,’’ Crow stated.

’’Are you proud of me? Please praise me more,’’ Akira teased and Akechi rolled his eyes so hard they might just fall off.

’’That reminds me, Panther! We should totally pull-off a kick-ass move together,’’ Skull spoke.

’’Isn’t it already too late for that? We are going to be done with Metaverse soon,’’ Panther argued.

’’Come on. It would be super badass. I got this idea from this manga-’’

The duo continued bickering as they came across a hall to a psychological test.

Gorō complained out loud how he was sick of wandering inside hospitals. From what Akira had heard, his mental space was also a hospital room. Akira could relate to the feeling of uneasiness as his mental space had manifested in the depths of Mementos in a twisted form. It was comparable to Maruki literally brainwashed people who failed the psychological test with helmets like from a science fiction.

The newest tape that they acquired was of Sumire, Maruki’s second patient in actualization. 

Even if they hadn’t intended to, they now had seen Violet at her weakest. She was quick to dismiss everyone’s worries as they continued on. With each new gate one of the members tapes were found. They were all of their own private sessions with Maruki, but only Akechi’s tape was nowhere to be found.

\---

They reached heaven, or what Maruki visualized as one.

It was mystical garden of Eden in heavens.

It was a peaceful world, but filled with sorrow despite the beautiful nature surrounding them. Depictions of Maruki’s girlfriend Rumi stood tall in a form of statues, like they had been lost to time as vines and flora was growing on them. Like an ancient goddess.

The councillor’s mental images of humans didn’t have wings yet they rose towards the sky, where the Phantom thieves had to venture by foot.

They reached the space where the treasure was, but they couldn’t access it. 

’’We should be good to go,’’ Joker announced. They had returned to the nearest safe room for a planning session.

’’Now we just wait?’’ Violet wondered.

’’That is the most likely answer. Maruki hasn’t shown himself and will only do so when our deadline comes close,’’ Queen provided.

’’I’ll prepare the calling card then. I shall trust it to your care Joker,’’ Fox promised.

’’Thank you,’’ Joker said.

’’We still have a week left, what do you usually do during this time?’’ Violet wondered.

’’We could all celebrate a preparations complete?’’ Panther offered.

’’We shouldn’t let our guard down. Maruki could try to persuade us to change our mind one by one,’’ Crow pointed out.

’’What gives you that idea?’’ Skull asked.

’’He targeted Violet, then when she had yielded he tried to pursue Joker. He doesn’t like fighting and would like to avoid confrontation with us. It wouldn’t be surprising if he still held some kind of trump card up in his sleeve. He could be hiding it and play it just before the deadline,’’ the detective reasoned.

’’It is possible, but can we prepare for it? We all have already faced and broken away from our own actualization. I doubt he would use it again,’’ Queen reminded and Mona seemed suddenly concerned, hanging his head downwards.

’’What’s up Mona?’’ Joker asked and Morgana avoided his gaze, not answering.

Mona obviously was keeping something from them.

’’Let’s talk later at Leblanc,’’ Crow spoke and Akira vaguely understood it must be concerning something both of them had been doing in secret.

’’Let's wait for now, and in case something were to happen, we should stay alert,’’ Queen offered and they disbanded.

\---

The trio of Akira, Gorō and Morgana were alone at the Leblanc yet it seemed the detective wasn’t ready to talk.

’’Do you want coffee?’’ Akira asked, but as Akechi didn’t provide an answer the trickster took it as a yes.

The silence was a little overbearing so Akira turned the TV on.

Late night news didn’t report any crimes nor cautions like it used to. Like the requests for Mementos had indicated, acts of criminality were down. Just like how people didn’t glare at Akira at school anymore, nor whispered about him behind his back. He felt like he could stand a little taller, but at the same time he was doing his best to not get used to it.

_Once the world would be back to normal, there would be no more welcoming atmosphere for a convicted criminal._

Once the coffee was poured and ready, Akira’s eyes focused on Akechi's gloved hands holding the cup.

’’Is your hand healed already?

The detective absentmindedly removed his left glove and studied the skin. Scars had stretch marks as the stitching had been torn open multiple times. Gorō had just the following day, after receiving the injury, fought in Maruki’s Palace and had continued to use the same hand the following times in the Metaverse without restraint. 

’’Seems so.’’ Akechi spoke like the pain hadn’t bothered him.

It reminded Akira of something he at some parts still couldn’t understand at times.

All the times Gorō had tended to injuries from the Metaverse by himself. Of the full medicine cabinets in his house. 

_Of the domestic abuse he had dealt with in his foster homes._

’’You should know you can always rely on me. You don’t need to bear all the pain by yourself anymore,’’ Akira spoke earnestly. No teasing, no jokes. He needed to be sure the other understood.

Akechi seemed to be debating something inside his mind. A nervous energy was hanging in the air as Morgana’s tail swung low, distressed. 

Then the detective provided Akira his phone instead of explaining.

’’Just look. It’s easier to understand.’’

Akira accepted, confused. On a surface level, the phone opened on the detective’s contact list. He looked through the names until the trickster paused at a name too out-off character for Akechi to have filled in as a joke.

Akira should have known just by the fact Gorō had continued to live with him, even after everyone else had snapped out-off it. Yet he had forgotten far too quickly. Too used to and happy at the idea he got to live with Akechi again.

His mother was still alive and it was as undeniable as the number in the detective’s phone.

’’How?’’ Akira breathed and Akechi just shook his head.

’’I don’t know, but I’m going to make her disappear,’’ he spoke words that first sounded menacing, but was just layered with resignation. Like he had been preparing for this moment for a long while.

’’Gorō, you have been keeping this all to yourself, all this time?’’ Akira asked.

’’Morgana was with me, but otherwise yes. Exactly because I knew you would react like that,’’ he noted, chuckling darkly.

’’Like what? Worry? Of course I would worry.’’

’’No just- It doesn’t matter.’’ The detective brushed the topic off. ’’I have tried everything else, but it seems inevitable that I have to face her.’’

There was a clear dissonance how Gorō hadn’t deleted her number and what he was saying. The way his eyes remained hardened but facial expression too calm.

_He didn’t want to._

’’You don’t have to.’’ Akira voiced. Akechi didn’t need to push himself for a plan that might not even work.

’’So that Maruki can use it against me?’’ he countered.

’’You know that he’s not like that.’’

’’I have seen him only once before he became a Palace ruler. He doesn’t have any kind of emotional bond with me. There was a tape of all of your sessions, but not mine,’’ Gorō relayed the facts.

All of their therapy sessions had been used as door passwords. Only all the members of the Phantom thieves, and not anyone else Maruki had counselled. It might be because Maruki was thinking about them as they were going to face each other in the future, or because their stories had been the most gruesome he had dealt with.

And yes, there should have been one of Gorō after the last tape when Maruki awakening his Persona, but there hadn't been one.

’’It could be because you’re the most recent. You just saw him this month. It just hasn’t sank into his subconscious yet,’’ Akira tried to reason.

’’I’m getting tired of you defending that madman, Akira,’’ Akechi stated coldly.

Akira opened his mouth to protest but no words came out.

Yes, he was defending him. On some level even agreed with him, hoping they could come to a compromise by the fateful day. 

_What an unreliable leader. He was taking the side of someone they were to fight against._

Morgana kept circling around Gorō’s legs until the boy spoke again.

’’I’m going to break it tomorrow, and I want you to come with me.’’

After his poor performance just now, Akira wasn’t expecting such a request.

’’To see your mother?’’

The answer was a small nod from the other wild card.

’’I can’t seem to be able to approach the place. Drag me inside there if you have to.’’

There was something so very wrong with the request.

He was forcing himself and Akira wanted to come up with another way. Yet if Akechi had already gone through every possible option by himself and was now relying on him, then Akira couldn’t let him down.

He had just promised to do so.

’’Alright,’’ he agreed.

\---

Akira hadn’t seen Gorō before visibly nervous. He was adjusting his gloves and eyes flickering to every source of noise paranoid. They were very telling nervous ticks.

’’We don’t need to do this,’’ he reminded Akechi.

’’We have to. I don’t want to give Maruki any kind of upper hand over us.’’

’’But-’’

’’Just. Stay by my side,’’ the detective, this vulnerable, meant that he was close to his limit.

Akira carefully intertwined their hand to offer some kind of distraction. It seemed to work, but now Akechi was squishing his hand so strongly he would probably stop Akira’s blood circulation.

Morgana climbed to Gorō’s shoulder and it eased his hold slightly.

They arrived in front of Akechi’s house in this alternative reality. The bakery his mother owned which also served as their home. 

With any other circumstances this might have been seen as romantic.

To show up in front of their parent’s for the first time holding hands, but it was anything but. Gorō was terrified, about slipping away to another alter or to pass out. Akira couldn’t tell which it would be, but he knew he had to be the one to get them out of the house before it could happen.

They stepped through the door.

It was a very small shop. Only five tables close to one another, and by the number of chairs, could only hold twelve people at once. Yet it created its own kind of atmosphere. A little like Leblanc, but decorations leaning towards the cute side. The curtains were white with ends patterned with lace and here and there were mismatched pastel decorations. A little like the owner had gone through the flea market and just picked whatever they thought was cute or interesting.

’’Welcome- Oh, Gorō. And you must be?’’ A young woman with a long dress and an apron came to greet them by the door.

’’Kurusu Akira,’’ the trickster introduced himself.

Her eyes lit up and she gave a short bow.

’’Akira-kun, Gorō has told a lot about you. Pleasure to finally meet you.’’

_He hasn’t, couldn’t have._

’’As well Miss…?’’ Akira spoke in a questioning tone.

’’Shirotori Ayumi. You can call me just Ayumi.’’

_First time Akira gets to know Akechi’s original surname and it’s from his dead mother’s mouth._

He kept his composure to not show any of his inner turmoil. 

_Gorō had it much worse._

’’Ayumi-san then.’’

’’Mind you wait until I can close the shop? I’ll pour us some tea and you can choose a place in the meanwhile,’’ she motioned towards the empty tables.

Akechi wasn’t talking and his eyes weren’t focusing. He was very pale, so much so he looked sick. When they were seated Morgana jumped to Akechi’s lap and that gave the detective something else to focus his eyes on.

Akechi’s mother must be only in her 30’s just by the way she dressed and held herself. Akira guessed she must have been underaged* when she had Gorō, maybe even still at high-school like they were. She must have had it hard already, but Ayumi also lacked any support network as the shadow of Shidō had confessed. Confessed that he had just used her as she was an easy target.

Then she was left alone raising Gorō by herself. A single parent in Japan** and a woman who couldn’t even afford a babysitter, so she would have to find creative ways to do her work and yet keep Akechi safe. A balance that no one should have to try to maintain. 

Then she had finally crumbled from all the pressure and took her own life leaving Gorō alone.

Yet here she was alive, working at a small bakery.

Tea poured, Ayumi joined them and sat in the opposite seat. She hadn’t commented how they were holding hands, even not a cat in her bakery, and instead she was interested in Akira.

She kept asking questions about his own family, how he and Akechi had been, how Leblanc was and all kinds of mundane things. Akira chatted as he would with his other older confidants, but he was very conscious of the fact that here he was talking to the mother of his crush, and how that wasn’t even possible in the normal circumstances. Yet here she was.

After Ayumi ran out of things to say, she finally referred to Akechi.

’’I know now why you never spoke your friend’s first name, but you shouldn’t have to hide it. You don’t need to be afraid. I’m fine just the way you are. I accept Akira and you completely,’’ she understood their visit’s reason wrongly, yet it wasn’t Akira’s job to correct her.

’’Gorō?’’ He called slowly.

Their purpose was to rid of Maruki’s influence over the detective. If he didn’t face her ghost, he wouldn't be able to shatter it.

Gorō raised his head slowly.

’’You died,’’ he spoke with an uneven manic smile creeping to his features. Akira could only place his other hand on top of their connected one’s.

’’You killed yourself and it was all my fault. If you didn’t have to take care of me, then maybe you would never had to sell yourself. You would have never had to take those pills and suffer alone.

I took revenge.

I took revenge for you, but it didn’t help. 

Nothing will ever help because you are already gone, but I’m trying to learn to deal with it. Cope better, and I can’t do it if you are here, haunting me,’’ Akechi spoke with a voice too flat, too emotionless.

Ayumi’s form seemed to glitch out of existence for a moment, twisting like a reflection on a broken glass, only to return to normal.

’’Silly Gorō, you’ve been worrying about that nightmare again. You know it’s not true, and that if I were to ever take my own life, it would be because of my own weakness. In no way would it ever be your fault.’’

Akechi and Akira had made-up a hidden message before they had arrived; Gorō would squish his hand three consistent times if they needed to leave. So far he hadn’t done the sign, but at that moment Akira made a decision.

Even when Gorō hadn’t given him a sign, he led them outside.

_He couldn’t bear to watch it anymore._

_Akechi had done more than enough._

_He wouldn’t need to face anymore bad memories if Akira had some say about the matter._

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *A legal adult is 20 years old in Japan.
> 
> **Single parents have it hard in Japan. There exists a Japanese horror movie called ’’dark water’’, which is based on real events, and it comments well how hard it is. The main character of the movie is a single mother. The society is shown as patriarchal and women are expected to stay home to take care of chores and children. When not fulfilling these expectations, women are expected to work full hours at work, even when unable to as they have a child to care for. Honestly that movie is very uncomfortable to watch and frustrating, but I would recommend it as it is educational.
> 
> So by this fic rules I have finally established Akechi’s original surname, which I chose as Shirotori (白鳥), translating to ’’white bird’’. White is usually associated with death in Japan because the deceased are dressed traditionally in white kimono. White is also seen as a color of purity.  
> I find this name fitting, as Akechi’s first outfit is a literal white bird. 
> 
> It also reminds me of the myth of the ’’crane wife’’(鶴女房) in Japanese folklore. A man and a crane disguised as a woman get married. She said never to open the door while she is working, but the curiosity got the better of the man and he opened the door to find her true form to be a crane who had used her own feathers to make the expensive clothing. It ends with the crane flying away never to be seen again.
> 
> So in the original P5R Sumire starts to call Akechi a senpai with seemingly no trigger? I tried to fix it here by giving her an actual reason to.
> 
> Akechi's mother's cause of death was never specified, but I've been listening to criminal podcasts and it's been stated that women tend to prefer deaths ''that won't leave a mess''. These include overdose which I used here.


	11. Remnants

Gorō couldn’t find himself to be angry when Akira had directed them outside.

On the opposite he was grateful. 

The whole trip back was a blur. A vivid dream, but his mind was elsewhere.

When he came to, they were at Leblanc and it was the middle of the night. Akira had fallen asleep against his shoulder on the couch and Morgana was curled on his lap.

Akechi felt so weak and frustrated with himself.

_Why wasn’t he able to break it?_

He knew it was just an illusion and by how the others had broken it, what he had done should have been enough.

No, he just didn’t want to admit that on some level he wanted to hear those words from his mother. That she forgives him about everything. How her suicide wasn’t his fault in the first place. 

_An easy way to get rid of his guilt._

Even if he rejected it, in the back of his mind, there was a voice which didn’t.

Maruki was using it. Twisting it and pinning him against a corner.

There was a gruesome thought that to get rid of it, Gorō must kill her in this reality. To fully embrace his sins and to accept reality how he had caused her death.

But he knew he wouldn’t be able to do it.

He was just able to speak a few coherent sentences, but to do anything else was out of the realm of possibility.

As much as he hated it, he would have to trust that when Maruki would be defeated the illusion would vanish like Lavenza had promised.

With Akira sleeping soundly, Akechi couldn’t speak to him about all these thoughts. The other wild card was too emphatic and would do anything to ease his suffering, but that was impossible. 

Akira couldn’t do anything. 

_No one could._

So Gorō traveled in the darkest hours of the night to a space where there was no such concept as time. By the time he reached the Velvet room the night was beginning to turn into morning.

\---

Arisato agreed to give Akechi advice and in return they would go somewhere you could see the ocean. 

The other wild card must want to feel a sense of nostalgia about Tatsumi port, or so the detective deduced.

Trip to the seaside park of Odaiba was interesting as the Velvet room attendant drew more attention than he did. Few people on the morning train were whispering to themselves if they knew who Minato was cosplaying as or was he going to Harajuku*.

By the time they arrived at their destination, it was around the time schools would start and Gorō’s phone was filled with worried messages from Akira. 

_’Are you okay? I didn’t see you leave and neither did Sōjirō.’_

_’Please don’t try to go there again, at least alone. Take me with you.’_

_’If you don’t want to talk about it that is also fine, but you know you don’t have to deal with this alone.’_

_’I can come fetch you if you tell me where you are.’_

_’Gorō, please answer me so I know you’re safe.’_

Akechi was torn about how he was treated.

A part of him wanted that consolation that Akira offered, another despite it.

He was the one who was supposed to protect Akira. He had decided so when Joker had been crumbling down in tears, pleading him to live. It was what Gorō decided for himself and he had succeeded in the beginning of the month; challenging Maruki, reassuring Akira- 

Now Akechi was the one struggling, but he didn’t deserve his care. 

_He hadn’t paid his debt back yet of his life saved in the engine room,_

_and of Joker giving him reason to live._

He ignored the messages and put the phone on silent mode.

’’How do you accept death?’’ Akechi asked.

Arisato was staring at a distance. He looked like a ghost, he technically was, about to disappear in a blink of an eye. The white hair added to the effect.

’’I never really got over my parents death. I can’t give you decent advice.’’

’’But you never held a grudge.’’ the detective pointed out.

’’No I didn’t. I just felt incredibly empty. Would escape to the world of music, anything to fill the void with something.’’ 

A truth apparent as Minato still kept his headphones on after his death.

’’Weird thing about these headphones is that they have unlimited batteries. I can play from them any song that I have heard before. I should buy new one’s so I could listen to what's new,’’ he explained tapping his wireless headphones for emphasis.

’’Please get back to the topic,’’ Gorō requested and the other seemed to think carefully before speaking.

’’Everyone has a different way they cope. All my friends had come to a contact with death in some way and reacted to it completely differently. One of my friends even sought out revenge, like you did, only to abandon it,’’ the ghost spoke gravely. ’’I can’t say what would be good for you, nor falsely claim that time heals all wounds. It takes effort in a sense. To push forward despite the pain.’’ 

Akechi supposes talking to Futaba about loss would help, despite how ironic it might be, but he certainly wasn’t ready for that conversation.

’’Figures…’’ He instead spoke bitterly.

’’Your situation is unique. I can’t say what I would do in your situation,’’ Minato hummed.

’’Yet you’re unable to reconnect with your own friends that mourn your loss,’’ Gorō noted.

’’That’s unfair. Or I would like to say that, yet you are not wrong,’’ the Velvet room attendant admitted raising himself from the rail he had been leaning against. ’’You are strange. You push me forward instead the other way around. What a senpai I am.’’

’’A dead one,’’ Gorō said.

’’True.’’ Arisato smiled before giving one last look of longing to the Odaiba. ’’After all this I might try to search a way to appear to them.’’

Not as enlightening conversation as Akechi had hoped, but he didn’t feel as miserable. Still complex, but in the end it wouldn’t matter. 

He would harden his heart and whatever Maruki would try to pull wouldn’t work.

**He refused to become a puppet again.**

\---

Because Akira couldn’t get hold of Gorō, he proclaimed throughout the group chat that they all would go to Mementos. Essentially daring Akechi to go against his leader’s orders.

He didn’t, and showed up to Shibuya with everyone else. Akira spared Akechi by not bringing up what had happened yesterday and only gave him a relieved smile, tension draining from his shoulders.

Akechi had a hard time meeting eyes with the other.

He wasn’t supposed to be this weak for attention and care. Just another person who Akira could sacrifice himself for.

Hell, the trickster had even helped his supposed therapist Maruki with his own problems, instead of talking about his own.

Akechi was supposed to be the balance in that. The one who stood up for him, when he didn’t do so for himself- and he couldn’t do that if he too codependent on Akira.

He was too attached, even after all his attempts to create distance.

He supposes this is just how weak-willed he truly is.

Mementos served as a good place to try to prove himself otherwise and let out all the anger he felt free without a filter. As Akechi had been up all night, he was certain even if he had tried to refrain from doing so, he wouldn’t have succeeded.

To cover everything in blood was his animalistic instinct.

Making up for all the times he had to grind his teeth and bare the pain. To pretend everything was fine as not to taint the perfect image he had built for himself.

For him, who once lived as a prestige detective, it was solace he came to need. Make everything as grotesque as he could. Paint the world in red. Direct his anger at other people and shadows in a vicinity to howl to them how he had been wronged.

When he had gotten to know Akira the impulse had lessened and now it was something nearly nonexistent. He could calm down right after a battle had ended and not covered in self-indulgent thoughts about seeing the world burn.

_Now he only wanted Maruki to pay for what he had resurrected._

In the midst of battle behind the masks, not only Crow, but all of them were all different people. Yet they all were but a group of teenagers craving for vigilante justice. A task they would have to give up once Maruki was defeated.

Gorō never got too used to the idea. He had lived for his revenge and had already gone through his own existential crisis when it was taken away from him, but everyone else hadn’t. They were all at various points of accepting the inevitable; they would have to give up being Phantom thieves in a sense they had grown used to.

They would no longer be able to change hearts.

No matter how many requests would come, they wouldn’t be able to answer them.

It was their final time here, and final time fulfilling requests.

’’Does anyone need a break?’’ Violet called carefully. She had taken notice how everyone was just a little too reckless. A little more desperate in their fights.

Yoshizawa was also an outsider like Akechi in this situation and could tell that the other Phantom thieves were in no shape to continue fighting.

’’I think we are all willing to keep going until the final request is done,’’ Queen stated. Usually she was the one to take the logical approach, yet she was going against it.

’’Yeah. Would feel weird to leave any requests haggin’ while we still had a chance,’’ Skull agreed.

’’Could I request that we stay in this space a while longer? I want to sketch this place once more to memory,’’ Fox asked.

’’Inari is getting ahead of himself,’’ Oracle commented.

’’It really doesn’t feel like it’ll be over after this. How about we have dinner together after this?’’ Panther proclaimed.

’’You’re really pushing for that meal time. Bet you just want an excuse to bury yourself in deserts,’’ Skull taunted.

‘’’Shut up Skull! It’s just… the last time we did so.’’ Takamaki’s expression fell gazing at Okumura.

’’That’s sweet of you Panther to be thinking about me. How about I reserve us a place?’’ Noir offered.

’’We appreciate it Noir, but we can’t have you pay for everything,’’ Queen declined.

’’How much is left at our shared budget Joker?’’ Morgana asked and Joker thought for a moment.

’’I’m not sure and wouldn’t want to miscalculate. How about a meeting after Maruki’s defeat? Then there definitely won’t be precautions.’’

’’Agreed,’’ Fox said.

’’Yeah!’’ Skull called and everyone was falling deeper to the conversation.

Yoshizawa nod, her head hanging as she was still worried about the mood.

Everyone was acting brave, but it was clear the way they would share stories about Mementos and their Palace experiences, that they were reminiscing. Violet and Crow hadn’t been present during those times, no connections they could make.

’’Let them be. They have to do this,’’ Akechi stated and Yoshizawa smiled.

’’Crow-senpai really cares for everyone.’’ 

There was neither no ill-will in her statement.

\---

They both ended up serving as a support, or more accurately as brakes while everyone else was fighting like they had been possessed. The final request was already completed, but they continued fighting shadows in preparation for their final battle. Only once they were beyond exhausted they left Mementos behind. Akira couldn’t even stand without support so Gorō had to essentially carry him home.

As the Akechi had stayed outside the whole day, he didn’t mind basking in the warmth that Joker provided next to him.

’’Sorry, I overworked myself,’’ his leader apologized.

’’Just don’t fall sick again,’’ Gorō ordered and Akira snickered mischievously.

’’I can try to hold on to that. After defeating Maruki, I can’t make any promises.’’

’’Now Akechi and me will have shared custody over you,’’ Morgana meowed and the detective disagreed.

’’I rather you learn to take care of yourself.’’

’’I should. I feel like I’m too much in a debt to really ever repay you,’’ the trickster spoke quietly and Akechi was recounting all the times he had paid for everyone else’s meals at this point but Akira’s.

’’Excuse me?’’

’’You and Sumire had to carry the team while I was too distracted. The amount of times you knocked me out of the shadows reach must have been over 50 by the end of it.’’

Maybe Gorō himself was tired, not being able to make a right connection when it was obvious.

’’So did everyone else.’’

’’Yes but- I guess, I just don’t know how to handle that there are people who stand up for me.’’

Akechi never had thought how Akira might have the same reluctance about accepting help as him. 

It lifted some weight from his heart even if his feelings remained mixed.

When they arrived at Leblanc, both boys stared at the vast and narrow stairs to the attic. Akechi would need to physically carry them up instead of just lending Akira his shoulder.

’’Let’s rest here until I can walk up by myself,’’ trickster mercifully said.

\---

Today Yoshizawa had invited Gorō to watch her complete a routine for her coach.

A distraction, something he was in a dire need of. 

When he arrived at their meeting place Akira was also there and he should have seen it coming. She wanted the both of them to see her routine completed.

’’Akira-senpai, Akechi-senpai! Thank you for coming.’’ Yoshizawa bowed politely as always.

’’No problem. Are you nervous?’’ Akira asked.

’’A little bit.’’ She admitted and glanced at Akechi unsure. ’’Um… Is there any last minute advice you could offer?’’

There was a satisfying feeling of triumph how she asked that of him, rather than Akira. There was still a spark of competition spirit that would resurface itself whenever the both of them were pitted against each other or compared by other people.

’’Stop doubting yourself,’’ Gorō simply said.

’’You’re right. I have done everything I could, I can do this!’’ Yoshizawa’s footing became more stable in the ground.

Her couch, Hiraguchi, arrived and she joined besides the boys on the side while the gymnastic prepared.

Yoshizawa had introduced her as she had brought Akechi with her to her boxing practice when they had been practicing their combined special move.

She had originally said how she had been inspired by how Joker and Crow fought and she wanted them to replicate it with her own twist. She noted that Akechi and her both used sabers, and they could use it to their advantage, so they had practiced.

The move Joker and Crow had been from both sides improvised, so to go to the effort of trying to craft something as complicated with someone Gorō didn’t feel as strong of emotional bond with, had felt off, yet it served as a benefit in the Metaverse so he had yielded. By the time they had finished their technique Yoshizawa had started to call him senpai and Akechi didn't find her as weak-willed as she first appeared.

’’You two are Sumire’s friends?’’ Hiraguchi asked.

’’Yes, you could call us that,’’ Akira offered.

’’Confidants,’’ Akechi used their wild card terminology.

’’Glad to see you all get along. With a two of you here I can tell Sumire’s in good hands.’’ She must have observed how, with the both of them standing side by side like this and being over the average height**, they must have looked like bodyguards of Yoshizawa.

The gymnast began her performance without music.

Gorō couldn’t really tell the nuances of her delivered moves, but he felt the emotion all the same. Just like she had fought in Metaverse. Powerful and delicate at the same time.

After she was finished with her routine, she got her coach's wholehearted approval.

’’Thank you both. I couldn’t never have done this without your help.’’ Yoshizawa thanked them again formally.

’’No problem. We had an exchange, didn’t we?’’ Akira spoke amused.

Akechi felt weird how Yoshizawa and him didn’t have anything like that. 

_Was he more giving than Joker?_

He really couldn’t picture himself as such.

’’Oh, we could all train together! I’m still wired up to go,’’ The gymnastic offered and Joker smirked towards Akechi smugly.

’’I have done this training longer than you so be prepared to lose.’’

’’That is big speech coming from someone who couldn’t even climb up stairs by himself yesterday,’’ Gorō reminded the other.

’’Okay, maybe let’s take it a little easy,’’ Akira yielded.

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Harajuku is known for its unique street fashion. It also has a lot of stores which sell cosplays and other vintage clothing.
> 
> **Average height for male’s in Japan is about 172 cm / 5,6 ft. Few decades ago it was still 160 cm / 5’2 ft. The boys in Persona 5 are really tall. Ryūji is closest to a real deal.
> 
> If only Shinjirō was alive and the orphan boys could connect over shared trauma and guilt over murder. (And being shot.) But at least Minato is here with shared experience of seeing their parents dead.
> 
> Here is also the royal trio actually being a royal trio and not Akira and Akechi or Akira and Sumire separately!  
> I have a confession, I was initially so disappointed how the final Palace wasn’t meant to be completed just with this trio. I was completely ready for Crow to navigate, Joker to lead and Violet to develop throughout the Palace. Haha.


	12. An unselfish wish

It was two days before the deadline and Akira was restless. 

Gorō still lived with him, which spoke of whatever the other had been trying by his lonesome to break away from the illusion hadn’t worked. Most mornings the detective had been gone by the time the trickster and Mona woke up and would only come back around closing time. Morgana kept Akira company, but he could feel the absence. Ann had seen Akechi with a white haired boy in blue around Shibuya and Akira could guess with confidence, it was someone from the Velvet room.

Gorō was really doing everything in his power, defiant to fight this situation and to overcome it. 

In the meanwhile Akira was struggled to force the reality into his head that Maruki was now an enemy. An obstacle they would need to face, that Joker would have to lead them through it without second-guessing himself.

_He needed to become that person._

He descended the stairs in the morning and was pleasantly greeted by the sight of Akechi, not yet gone.

’’I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages Gorō,’’ Akira said, but the other wild card didn’t seem impressed.

’’We see each other on a daily basis.’’

’’Yeah, but not enough to my liking,’’ he smiled.

Akechi stayed quiet not providing where he had been to, nor would Akira ask. The wound Ayumi had left was still too fresh, and the support Akira could provide was limited when the detective himself didn’t accept any of it.

’’Do you have plans for today? We could stop by the Jazz Jin,’’ he instead asked and Akechi grimaced.

’’…You haven’t noticed? I have only invited you there before I would betray you in some way.’’

Akira had noticed, but he had a feeling Gorō was almost trying to convince himself not to. The way they had lingered until the closing hours and the halfhearted goodbyes afterwards. Like the detective wanted to reach out to him and to not let him go.

_Or it was all just Akira projecting his own feelings onto Gorō._

’’Which is why I’m the one that’s asking and luckily I don’t know how I could betray myself,’’ he joked and Akechi seemed to hesitate, but ultimately agreed weakly. 

\---

There might have been less people than usual at the jazz bar, but the atmosphere still remained the same. Dim lights and the subtle notes of music on the background. It was unscathed from Maruki’s influence on the outside, but if they were to speak to staff here maybe someone’s personality or past would have changed like at school Ushimaru’s had.

Akira had indulged on the thought of how it must have felt, to suddenly lose every big worry you had. Of course he wouldn’t remember it, but he wondered if he would feel lighter. 

_Would he feel more confident like the Joker side of himself?_

_How the world would have looked through to the dream coated glass?_

He had heard of the theory how everything was comparable and that changed how positive or negative the experiences felt. How after having been scammed, and because of it now debt, forgetting a phone home wouldn’t feel as devastating as without the first experience. Or how after winning a jack-pot in a lottery and afterwards finding a long lost item didn’t feel as significant as without it.

On the opposite side after bad experiences, the good ones would feel better than they otherwise would and vice versa.

All the phantom thieves had gone through something which had left them scarred. Without their shared past, they would lack something. The joy of overcoming their shared struggles together.

**They shouldn’t submit to the false happiness that Maruki offered.**

’’How did you find this place?’’ Akira asked.

’’Just by chance. I had a hobby of discovering hidden or otherwise unique places,’’ Akechi answered. 

Whenever they were alone here in the bar the detective became a little more talkative, a little less guarded.

’’This happened to become a place that I came to be attached to. People here don’t treat me differently because of my fame and everyone minds their own business. I suppose I had been searching for a place that could serve as an escape.’’ Gorō took a sip of his drink and didn’t elaborate further, but Akira understood. His life hadn’t been stable for a long time and an unchanging place could bring his mind elsewhere.

Akira wondered just how grim Gorō's world looked and how could he make it brighter?

Here in a quiet night it was a perfect chance for Akira to try to open up to Akechi about his feelings. Sweep the the detective off his feet and afterwards fight against Maruki hand in hand.

Yet he found himself unable to do so.

Akechi looked like he finally had found some resemblance of peace. Eyes half lidded, a deliberate way he spun the glass in his hands. If Akira had artistic skills like Yūsuke he would have surely painted a picture of him at that moment.

A small moment that couldn’t last, which Akira committed to memory. To a collection of memories that he hoped, would guide him to me more brave someday.

\---

It was the day before the deadline. Maruki was most likely to make contact with them again soon, or more precisely with Akira. The councillor would possibly use Gorō’s situation to his advantage and try to make Joker call off the heist, even if he didn't need to go to such lengths as the man could alter them and the reality to his liking. Just maybe Maruki didn't want for his plan to come to fruition. 

_Akira was indeed too soft._

After school Sumire had requested to talk to hum privately about Maruki. She must have felt in part responsible for the councillor’s actions as he did, so he was in no position to refuse. He trusted Morgana with Ann to Leblanc, just in case the councillor were to reach out to Akechi instead, while he went over Sumire’s.

The gymnast seemed to have more confidence than ever. It must be because of her successful debut to her coach, as she went right to the point of their discussion topic. 

’’I feel sorry for Maruki-sensei. It’s his ideal world, yet he didn’t create anything for himself,’’ Sumire analysed.

’’Well, he has a huge laboratory and will be basically a God by the end of it,’’ Akira said lightly, but the gymnast shook her head.

’’But that isn’t really what he graves. There were all those statues of Rumi-san. He must be lonely.’’

It was true. 

While Madarame and Kamoshida had pompous statues of themselves inside their Palaces, Maruki’s Palace only had flyers questioning whether they wanted to be happy or if they weren't he could provide help to cure any unhappiness.* The presence of the councillor himself was nearly non-existent, only the VHS tapes in the form of his memories had slipped from his subconsciousness.

They were going to fight against someone who’s goals weren’t only self-serving. When they tried to change Futaba’s heart, she herself had asked for it. Sae’s or Mishima’s heart they all agreed on not changing and they came to their senses by themselves.

If only Maruki would be the same, but it was just Akira’s own self-indulgence. They couldn’t afford to wait or the world would be decided for them. 

Not acting meant the same as surrendering.

Akira tried to carve to his head the wording Akechi had used.

**A madman.**

It just wasn’t fitting description to the councillor, but Akira held on to those words.

’’We saw how he let her go,’’ he offered a lack-luster argument.

’’But not by choice at first. He wanted to but couldn’t say anything, just like you with Akechi-senpai,’’ Sumire said and he could only smirk.

’’We still coming down to this?’’

Amusing how she had only confessed a week ago and now she tried to get the two boys together.

’’Everyone elected me to be one to speak to you. Makoto-senpai was especially tired of you circling around the topic,’’ Sumire informed him.

’’Everyone?’’ Akira was suspicious of the number.

’’Not Ryūji-senpai. He... doesn’t seem to get it,’’ she corrected and he chuckled.

’’Thought so.’’

’’Still, you haven’t told him yet?’’

’’I better keep this to myself,’’ Akira said so she would quit, but apparently Gorō had taught her persistence.

’’Why? You are moving together, getting pets together, sharing a life together and through all that you’re going to keep it to yourself?’’

’’I’ll… wait when Gorō is in a better place.’’

_Ayumi 's unstable form was definitely not good for the detective’s mental health._

’’I know I haven’t known Akechi-senpai like you do, but he is quite a strong character,’’ Sumire noted and he couldn’t deny it. He was just making excuses as he went on.

’’You’re right. I will, when this is over. But you have to promise me, that even in the worst case scenario if we come to hate each other, you won't choose me over Gorō. Please remain friends with him,’’ Akira spoke with a pessimistic tone.

’’Senpai…’’ Sumire let her words fade to dust.

’’Sorry Sumire. I’m not as strong as I act like I am,’’ he admitted, far from the character of Joker he played in the Metaverse.

When everything would be over there would be no Joker, and Akira would have to return home when his probation period ends. 

Away from the Phantom thieves, away from Akechi.

The mark they left on the world would fade with their power gone and changes of hearts stopped. They all slowly forgotten in the eyes of the public.

Maybe even they would slowly drift apart, as they all were so vastly different form one another and the only thing that brought them together gone.

Akira wanted to live this last month in bliss with all the members in Leblanc, so when he would return to home that his parents had trapped him in he could bear it. 

That he could hold on, and with his saved strength, could break free of it.

So he could return to Tokyo, even if not to Shūjin to a new scary life that no tarot cards could prepare him for.

_How funny that after so many life or death situations, Joker would find facing his parents the hardest._

’’I promise, but don’t give up senpai. Believe in yourself.’’ Sumire faked a cheerful tone and Akira couldn’t lie.

’’I’ll try.’’

\---

When Akira returned to Leblanc Morgana and Gorō greeted him. Strangely enough Boss was nowhere in sight, who had decided to close early because of the lack of ingredients.

The cafe must have been really busy.

As if Maruki had predicted that they were alone, he called Akira's phone and asked for a meeting at the cafe they were in. 

Joker braced himself for what could be his last chance to change the councillors mind.

The bell above the door rang as Maruki entered.

’’Hello. Sorry to drop by so late,’’ The man greeted in his usual attire. No hair slid back or the laboratory wear. Akira could nearly pretend nothing was wrong, that him owning a Palace had been just a dream.

Almost.

’’Would you like coffee?’’ Akira offered as Maruki seated himself in the closest booth near the door.

’’No, thank you. I see you’re both here,’’ the man noted eyes glancing at Akechi, who remained standing guarded near the counter.

’’Three! Don't forget me so easily!’’ Morgana meowed and Joker scratched his ear playfully.

’’Wouldn’t you know it by your abilities, Maruki-sensei? You sent Sōjirō-san away,’’ Gorō noted.

’’I did it so we could chat in peace. Please trust me Akechi-kun, I won’t do any harm,’’ he looked a little hurt by the mistrust.

’’Then why is my mother alive?’’ the detective asked.

Akira felt the air grow thick, but Maruki seemed unfazed.

’’I only granted a wish. I never said it was your’s.’’

’’What? Don’t screw with me,’’ Akechi barked.

’’Kurusu-kun was the one to request it,’’ Maruki spoke.

Akira felt faint, all this too surreal.

’’My… wish?’’

’’You felt bad for Akechi-kun and wished to make him happy. You didn’t specifically wish for his mother to be alive, but you wished you could have spared him from the lonely past he had,’’ The counsellor explained, his tone growing gentle. ’’You two have an unique relationship. A Phantom thief and a detective, yet you bear no hatred or ill will towards the other. It’s the complete opposite. You have something special.’’ 

_It had been right in front of them all the time, yet Akira hadn’t thought of it._

_His wish to see Gorō happy._

_**Yet he had done the exact opposite,** _ **_just like when he brought Maruki to the hospital_** _._

’’And my actualization?’’ Akechi asked, no emotion leaking to his facial features.

’’Your mental peace. You broke it very quickly. It’s a shame that your’s and Akira’s contrasts so much. If you would have accepted your new kinder past, then surely you all could have been-’’ Maruki explained, but the detective interrupted.

’’Leave.’’

The councillor didn’t seem surprised by the hostility, but still tried to convince them.

’’I never wanted to keep your mother hostage, nor pressure you.’’

’’I don’t care for your intentions. We have nothing to further discuss,’’ Gorō spoke coldly and Maruki got the message.

’’If you won't accept this reality, we have to settle this tomorrow. I leave you two to talk things out.’’

’’Here Maruki,’’ Akira found his voice again, when Morgana kept tapping his hand with a paw.

The councillor picked uped the card that he had thrown and read through it quietly.

’’Thank you. Then have a goodnight,’’ Maruki bid leaving the cafe. Morgana took the chance to also escape without a word.

Now with only the two of them alone Akira could tell how furious Akechi was.

’’Your wish is to see me happy?’’

’’That seems to be what Maruki gathered from my subconscious,’’ he offered all too aware of Gorō’s piercing eyes on him.

’’Why only see me happy? What about you? Everyone of your friends, me included, had a selfish wish. Something that makes us happy, but you- You just wish for me to be happy? What bullshit,’’ he spit out.

’’I just-’’ Akira tried, but the detective wasn’t listening.

’’I saw that tape where you hoped for your parents acceptance, or even for Sōjirō-san to adopt you. Why did Maruki proclaim ’’my happiness’’ as more important? I’m not yours to protect. Not some brat to take care of. Is that how you see me? Someone so miserable you just had to make his past better so I would be easier to handle?’’ Gorō spoke with a twisted smile.

’’No!’’ Akira shouted, to which Akechi answered relentlessly.

’’Then tell me, what the hell were you thinking? I was happy enough to be with you.’’

The admission was clear and hurt more than Akira could bear. He couldn’t find the words. All of them were falling to pieces before they even left his mouth.

_In the end he hadn’t trusted Gorō enough._

’’Forget it. It seems you don’t see me as as equal as I had thought,’’ The detective commented, turning towards the door and Akira grabbed his wrist in a panic.

Akechi was about to break away from him when Akira found the only thing he could say without the words failing him.

’’I do. I love you.’’

There was a pregnant silence, both boys not moving like the time had stopped.

Akira took a shaky breath.

’’Is it wrong for me to wish for the person I love to be happy?

’’Am I happy to you?’’ Akechi asked, and the sound of the broken glass pierced their ears.

The world seemed a little more clear, no mist.

’’That answers my question, I suppose,’’ the detective laughed without humor, still not facing Akira.

’’Gorō, just… please listen. I want to say this properly.’’ He let go of Gorō who crossed his hands, turning to him.

’’You don’t need to answer, just know that I’m serious. And if you don’t feel the same, I’ll get over it and we can continue as before. I just had to say it.’’

Akechi was staring at him calculating, lacking any tells in his body language or expression.

’’We don’t have time for all this drama. Not now just before fighting Maruki.’’

’’Then take all the time you need, we can act as if this didn’t happen until then,’’ Akira spoke quickly and Gorō averted his eyes again.

’’Tomorrow is the day. I take it you won’t go back on our decision.’’

’’We will infiltrate the Palace as planned,’’ Akira confirmed.

’’…Good. I’ll see you tomorrow.’’

Akechi left and Akira could only hold his chest as in pain.

He had caused Gorō to go through every trauma with his mother, even if subconsciously. Had made him suffer again.

If Akira would have told sooner; on his first hospital visit or even earlier after their battle with god of control, this never would have happened.

**He really had messed up everything.**

**All because he didn’t want for things to change.**

**All because of his own selfishness.**

He should have at least just listened to Sumire.

But it was all too late.

All too late now.

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *I’m not sure if someone has already translated all the posters and text in Maruki’s Palace? If they haven’t, I probably could translate them individually later. As a whole, many of the posters are something along the lines of ’’Let’s heal your mind’’. Notable of these is that the kanji 心 (kokoro) which is used, can mean mind, heart and spirit all at the same time. So Maruki is offering to heal broken hearts, restless minds and weak spirits at the same time.
> 
> To get to a confession it only took 70 000+ words. That’s slow burn baby.
> 
> This was actually one of the first scenes I came up with, when planning this second fic initially in my head.
> 
> Writing Akira to this point was weird. First building and then developing a player character you know nearly nothing about canonly was challenging. All the headcanons and character flaws I used tried to build to this moment. The two bad endings where the P5 protagonist can choose to not intervene with a bigger power, spoke to me of a certain lack of trust to their own abilities. Or like here I prompted, the unwillingness to change.
> 
> Change is very apparent in Akechi’s whole character in the Justice Reversed in which he unlocks the Death arcana. The card of death of the old and beginning of the new, of change.  
> Which all leads to a crash with Akira in this part of the World reversed. In the back of his mind, Akira is uncertain and reluctant for things to change. (You could also say his world is literally turned upside down as in reversed, haha... I will shut up now, my apologies.)
> 
> This was the most difficult chapter for me to write in this whole fic, but I hope it was worth it.


	13. Hereward

_Why did people have these unnecessary emotions?_

How stupid Akechi was to talk about avoiding drama when he was the one to create it; walk away from Akira just because he didn’t know how to respond. 

He felt impossibly complicated.

He hadn’t been mad when Maruki told him the truth, he had been annoyed that yet again Akira was putting other people’s wishes ahead of his own.

Or was Gorō worried? He couldn’t tell anymore, as his responses would right away shift to more manageable and palatable form.

Anger.

Something he was too familiar with. It had spiraled out of control as soon as it had manifested.

All his insecurities had leaked out.

How he was afraid Akira saw him just as an unfortunate soul worthy of protection or a bother.

Then the other just had to say something absurd.

Akechi had had a strong guess that Akira had his eyes on him.

He wasn’t as oblivious as to not notice how the other flirted with him, or the subtle differences in his tone of voice when spoke to the detective.

But he had just ignored it, much like he had the ghost of his mother.

Just like he had misdirected the wording of his own feelings.

He had called it obsession, addiction, anything but its name.

He had felt drawn to Akira from the start, yet he called it just interest. When he grew to know the Phantom thief better, he called them rivals. Now he had called them friends, and he didn’t know if he could call them further than that.

Gorō hadn’t had friends before Akira. He had just started to bond with other people besides him, but he could tell that what he felt for the other boy was different. Still he didn’t know if he could call his feelings for Akira love.

The only experience he had with love had ended in tragedy.

Ended with him in agony and desperation seeking revenge.

**He didn’t want to bring misfortune to the person he loved again.**

He already feared suffocating Akira with his bindings. He never wanted to hurt him, but he didn’t know if he could control himself. He wasn’t mentally in a good place, nor would he possible ever again be.

He was broken.

Akira deserved better than him.

Then there was the selfish part of him that said screw consequences. If Akira still thought of him this way after seeing everything ugly he held inside him, then it was his own fault for staring into the abyss. They would burn even to the ends of hell together.

_He was a mess._

_Why did Akira make him feel like this?_

\---

When Akechi arrived at Kichijōji, he put his trust in the sound of the shattering of glass he had heard. Walking the streets at the dead of the night he was proved right as he didn’t pass a bakery on his way home. 

If he would have been rational he would have returned to Leblanc immediately, as he could be back to being considered someone worthy of being kept in the hospital again. 

Yet Gorō didn’t care.

His apartment was the same as when he had left it. One box of his belongings remained at the attic of the cafe, but otherwise it was the same empty apartment.

Bare walls, empty shelves, a work desk with only his school books.

No warmth like Leblanc, nor the smell of coffee.

Akechi took his phone and set an alarm. It was still somewhat early, but he swallowed dry one of his prescribed pills to help him sleep. As he washed the layers of foundation from his face, he could tell how dark circles under his eyes were a little lighter. 

He had slept 6 or even 7 hours a night in Leblanc when he usually he slept 3 hours and only 6 hours, and only that if he was lucky. Many nights Gorō didn't sleep at all and instead he would rest his eyes a few minutes in the backstage of a TV studio or in public transportation, and only once he felt he couldn’t fight the exhaustion any longer with coffee, he would only then take pills and sleep for an unhealthy amount of time.

It had been just an inconvenience back when he didn’t plan on living long anyway, now he knew he had to do something to fix this.

The attic in Leblanc had been good for his insomnia. Once Akechi had gotten used to the air leaking through the sides of the windows, or occasional creaking of the ceiling, he could relax a little. Unlike in this apartment were the thin walls couldn't prevent the noises of footsteps, talking or other noises of other people living their lives. It triggered flash-backs of Akechi's time in foster homes, especially the arguments next door.

In Leblanc, he hadn’t minded the sound of Morgana curling to a new spot, nor the sound of Akira’s breathing.

Gorō caught the thought and resisted the urge to hit something. 

**Goddammit how he hated himself.**

\---

It was the day of confrontation with Maruki. Crow knew how to adapt and push his emotions aside. He had done so when killing, when he had been beaten up by his foster parents and now pretending yesterday never happened. It was nothing new to him.

A reason why he let Loki partly take over him.

They climbed a giant tree in the paradise to the treasure where Maruki waited for them. A councillor who dared to smile sympathetic, like he knew something of their suffering with just one conversation.

Akechi found the concept really hypocritical, just like how the councillor was quick to give up on his girlfriend.

Maruki was just trying to make himself happy by basking in the satisfaction of how at least others were happy. Giving up on himself just so he could take pride from saving others.

Saving people that wouldn’t want to be saved, like him.

**Akechi wasn’t a delicate existence that needed saving, he could save himself.**

Maruki summoned his own Persona and attacked with tendrils. While fighting he kept pleading to them.

’’Akechi-kun, don’t give up on yourself. Don’t give up on the wish Kurusu-kun gave you,’’ he had the gall to try to sway them in the middle of a fight.

’’Shut up!’’ Crow bit back, but the councillor already had a new target.

’’Kurusu-kun. You care about everybody as much as me. Surely you saw their happiness. In a current world you and Akechi can’t be accepted, but I can make that world for you. For all of you.’’

’’Stop your lunatic speech and fight!’’ Crow screamed and hit the man with fire that was reflected back to him. He was resistant to it, but the flames still scorched his skin.

Joker was quick to heal him, but he had a hard time keeping all of them in shape when Maruki could prevent them from healing, sometimes even from using magic. His skills of actualization and tempering with their cognition grew more stronger by the minute.

With Joker’s lead Crow was in charge of the physical damage and everyone else of the chosen element they were immune to. Tendrils down, they targeted Maruki's Persona which disappeared.

\---

’’I lost?’’ Maruki fell to his knees shocked.

The treasure appeared before them. It was a beacon, a torch, symbolic of hope, guidance and how Maruki must have believed it was passed to him.

The Palace began collapsing and they were high up in the sky.

’’Everyone gather to me!’’ Morgana called changing form to a bus.

Akechi dragged Akira to the vehicle as his leader was naive enough to want to save the madman who had just attacked them.

They all sped through the crumbling stairs that, by the end it disappeared beneath them. By miracle they managed to land safely outside the Palace. The building reached so high in the sky that ascending rubble was shaking the ground.

Despite them being outside his own Palace, Maruki still held power and hadn’t given up. He stole the torch from Joker’s hand by simply offering his hand, and the treasure flew to its host.

The councillor was unwilling to give up as his goal was just within his reach. The evolution of his Persona reflected that. Now the monster with tendrils took the form of a giant golden golem, Adam Kadmon.

All they could do was to gather their remaining strength once more.

Joker ordered the switches in the party arrangement, but Crow refused the order.

’’Crow, please. You're tired,’’ Akira was pleading to him.

’’I’ll rip that titan to oblivion...! Don’t try to stop me,’’ he growled and his leader reluctantly agreed.

Here Akechi was exploding Akira’s weakness just like the councillor had, but in the moment he didn’t care. 

They were different to the core. Maruki was a quitter and someone who gave until he had nothing. Gorō was stubborn and he would take and take until he was whole again.

Loki was amplifying it all.

The pure feelings of discontent, the rage, the passion.

Maruki’s own suffering was clouding his judgement as had been seen in the examination room. He sought to minimize the suffering or harm, instead of choosing to give up on possibilities that came with choice. His whole thought process undermined everything that they had been through.

To give up and chase other dreams

But Akechi was greedy.

He wanted to hold to things important to him, even if they were harmful.

Even if they caused him grief.

**He would hold on to Akira.**

When Crow called out Loki it fused with Robin Hood and evolved to Hereward. With the new power Akechi stroked Maruki down.

The councillor was on his knees again, but this time he turned to his Persona. Maruki was going to do something again. 

The way he kept blabbering about ’’saving’’ them was like a twisted version of Akira. The way Joker looked pained every time he had to hurt the councillor, told Akechi everything he would need to do.

He shot Maruki.

The tendrils protected him, no shot landing on Crow’s target.

’’Crow, don’t!’’ Violet yelled and attempted to bring his gun down.

He stopped shooting but only because it was ineffective.

’’We can’t hesitate, he’ll kill us!’’ he argued.

_He would kill for Akira, just so he would have to see him hold that gaze filled with suffering._

Maruki was now inside his own Persona. The fuse made the titan near to invisible. His attacks shook the ground beneath them more than Shidō’s had. The physical attacks were devastating as the thing kept charging and swinging its fist without mercy.

They would die.

Oracle found a weakness, and everyone acted like it was planned. They bore the weight of the Persona's massive fist while Akira ascended to the thing’s head and shot.

\---

The gigantic Persona faded and the area around the Palace was cracking and concrete was falling down. Violet wanted to run to Maruki but Crow prevented it, all the while Queen was calling order. The ground beneath them was cracking fast and Morgana offered them shelter inside the bus to lessen the impact of the fall. The idea was deemed worth a try, but all of them understood that if anything were to land on top of them, they would be crushed. And if the fall was too deep, it would result to them getting flattened instead, just like those pancakes that Akechi had come to hate.

Panther and Skull kept begging for Mona to fly away and the request was granted as Mona turned to a helicopter. Crow was getting sick of all these near death experiences only for them to be saved in the last minutes by the most illogical ways.

A helicopter, bus, and a cat? Akechi wasn't going to question if it turned to a tank next time they needed saving. The hope of humanity sure took form of the most bizzare things.

All of them hadn’t fit in the copter, but Joker was hanging by his hookshot like he was pretending to be in some action movie.

Suddenly a tendril was holding them in place and the whole air mobile threatened to fall from the sky.

Joker jumped and cut the tendril with him. The copter was released and they spun in place helplessly like inside a mixer while Morgana tried to get back the control. Once the vehicle was steady again Crow peered through the glass to see Akira was fighting with Maruki on top of the remains of the Palace.

He pushed others away to reach the open door and tried again to snipe Maruki from afar. It didn’t work as their guns had reverted back to normal model guns.

’’Don’t!’’ Sakamoto held Akechi in place when he tried to jump from the copter.

’’Don’t try to stop me! I’ll kill him! I won’t let that bastard lay another finger on Akira!’’ He screeched trying his damnedest to push free from the blond’s grip, but the other’s held remained strong.

Gorō wasn’t thinking rationally that the fall from this far would kill him, but in the moment he didn’t care. All the Persona’s inside him scream to help Akira and not let him fight alone. To not see him be hurt further, damn the harm that would come to his way instead.

A feral instinct he had was let loose.

’’This is counterproductive. Morgana can’t fly while we thrash around so much,’’ Kitagawa tried to calm them, but the boys were in a test of endurance.

’’Enough!’’ Niijima joined to help Skull, who Crow had managed to headbutt.

Two people holding him down wouldn’t have stopped his struggle if not for the sight of Joker standing over Maruki.

The madman laid down defeated and Crow ceased his movement against Skull and Queen.

The movement of the copter now steadied, it flew to save the both of them, but the platform made of glass shattered. The same platform which the duo had been on. Maruki would have fallen if not for Joker holding on to him.

Panic rose inside Gorō’s chest as he could do nothing as the first rays of sunlight blinded them and the world was covered in white.

\---

Akechi woke up in the Velvet room, the familiar straitjacket on him and the seawater surrounding the hospital room. Igor and his attendant were in their usual place behind the lone working desk.

’’You woke up,’’ Arisato noted.

’’What happened to Akira?’’ he asked looking around the room for clues.

_The helicopter hadn’t reached them in the end, so were they now stuck inside the collapsed Metaverse?_

_Which side of the room would he have to tear a hole to find a similar space like the one they had been transported after their initial confrontation with the God of control._

’’Relax, all your friends are fine. The world returned to normal and everything has returned to the way they should be,’’ Minato said without a pause and Akechi took that as a good sign against lying.

Now his mother was gone, and so was the rest of the past that Maruki had crafted for him.

’’Then I’m…’’ he muttered which the attendant caught.

’’Yes, at the hospital, just like this Velvet room. Pretty ironic.’’

’’I don’t find it as funny as you clearly do,’’ Gorō said tired. He really wasn't in the mood for Minato’s quirky sense of humor after everything he had gone through.

’’Don’t worry. Even if the world is back to normal, the passage of time remains the same. As such, it shouldn’t be long before your release,’’ The dead boy reminded him.

Arisato flipped through his thick book and began reading like from a manual.

’’You have attained 14 social links. Yet with all that you have gone through I say you are qualified to wield this.’’

A card appeared before Akechi.

’’This is the world card, but it’s reversed. Many things are still left unfinished, you may still cling to the past and have a hard time moving on too many thoughts and doubts still weighing on you, but despite all that you have achieved great things. That is the reversed meaning in the tarot deck.’’ Minato shut his book and continued. ’’You saved the world by retaining people's free will.’’

The ghost almost sounded proud, but Gorō was just a stranger to him and he hadn’t saved the world, Akira had.

Either he had spoken out loud or his senpai was just good reading thoughts like Sōjirō Sakura.

’’This wouldn’t have happened without your sense of justice. It has led you to do good. Just take it, even if just as a gift from a friend. You won’t see me or this room after you wake up,’’ he requested.

_A friend, huh?_

Akechi grasped the card before him and it disappeared. A strange sense of deja-vu flowed through him, but he feels that back then the card had been different.

’’I thank you Akechi. Because of our bond I might see you outside this place, but only after I have payed a visit to all my friends.’’ Minato smiled thankfully and Gorō felt it as his duty to bring the expression down a little.

’’Pay for your own meals next time.’’

’’Can’t promise anything.’’ The attendant hummed innocently.

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feral Akechi? Feral Akechi.  
> My personal headcanon as to why Mona-copter didn’t come to pick up Joker right away.


	14. Of endings and beginnings

It was the 19 day of March, a day scheduled in which Akechi to be released from the hospital. Back to their world without Maruki’s tampering, he had been held back until he had been found a temporary therapist, an emergency contact if his psyche broke down. Apparently Sae-san had pulled some strings to let him attend entrance exams that Akechi himself had no memory of.

It was as if time had continued without their input during the month spent trapped inside Maruki’s illusion. Niijima and Okumura seemed hopeful that they must have performed better in their finals back in this reality, where they wouldn’t have had to worry about Maruki. As for the other members of the Phantom thieves, they all had made individual plans according to Akira.

Today was also the day Akira would be returning to his hometown. 

Gorō felt it as a shame he hadn’t been released sooner, but either way they would have had only around a week worth of time together, and this way Akechi had time to come up with his answer without outside interference.

He was late to their planned meeting as being discharged had taken longer than expected with all the paperwork they had to fill.

Akechi hadn’t walked far just when a car pulled over to the side of the street with a honk. 

The detective squinted his eyes suspiciously as he drew closer. When a man emerged from the car, he wasn’t expecting to see Maruki in uniform as a taxi driver.

’’You were waiting to ambush me?’’ he bit back the insults of calling the man a stalker.

’’No-! Nothing of the sort! I just wondered if I could offer to take you to Kurusu-kun. You're going to see him, correct?’’ The ex-councillor fumbled and Akechi crossed his arms. 

Using public transportation could leave him missing Akira so the option was tempting, but Gorō was full of spite.

’’This better be a free ride.’’

’’It is and no other catch. Take this as a form of an apology, if you would,’’ Maruki assured.

’’Akira might be quick to forgive and forget, but not me.’’

It took Akechi all self-restrained to not pummel the man in front of him to the bruised mess that Akira was in when he had visited Gorō. All because the goody two-shoe councillor had finally reached his own limit and wanted a fist fight. 

**Akechi would gladly offer it to him.** **He would punch his face so hard those glasses would be glued to his eyes afterwards.**

’’That’s fine, then take it this just as my good will,’’ Maruki offered.

Quiet Gorō got inside the back seat and Maruki smiled.

\---

It wasn’t yet the rush hour, but the streets of Tokyo were always busy. Akechi kept re-checking his phone for the time, but it could only offer him so much distraction. 

’’You are now a taxi driver?’’ He struck up a conversation and the ex-councillor right away responded.

’’Yes, for the change of pace. I'm getting slowly used to people venting and I’m beginning to recognize that I can’t help all of them, nor that they all need it.’’

’’You should go to actual therapy instead of treating yourself. There are things you can only see when you hear someone else’s perspective,’’ Gorō warned darkly, feeling that were to be left to his own devices Maruki might soon become a taxi murderer instead.

’’I trust your word, yet therapy is a luxury I’m afraid I can’t afford now. I’ll have to stick to driving for now until I can afford it.’’

By the councillors' words Akechi found himself puzzled.

’’…You're not planning on returning to counselling?’’

’’No. I see that I’m not fit for it. Too emphatic for my own good.’’

’’I would disagree. Your empathy is your strength, and after you have your own shit together, you should continue. Even if just as a researcher, but counseling fits you better.’’

Maruki had been able to convince Gorō to trust him after just one counselling session. He must be talented to get someone as distrustful as Akechi to think, even subconsciously, otherwise.

’’Even after everything I have done to you- To all of you?’’ Maruki’s words came out carefully and the detective answered dismissive.

’’I’m not the one to decide that. I have done much worse than you. If other Phantom thieves are okay with it, then I say to not waste your talent.’’

Ironic coming from him as he had tried to kill Maruki in a fit as a black mask.

Yet he sensed no threat from the new man before him.

He could change, just like Akechi had.

’’I’ll do that, but for now I’ll stick to driving until I have enough to pay for said therapy to fix myself, as you kindly put it,’’ The man spoke with delight. ’’What about you Akechi-kun? Do you have a therapist assigned to you?’’

’’It’s something that has been left up to me. I’ll try to find someone fitting by the end of the year,’’ he didn’t see a reason to hide it.

Most therapy only involved medication in Japan and finding someone who has specialized in therapy would take a lot of work to discover on Gorō’s part. Most said therapists specializes in adults, thus it narrowed his options even more.

’’If you can speak English then you are not limited to only local therapists.

Have you thought about the types of therapy you would like to pursue? If you would like recommendations I would say cognitive psychotherapy would be very fitting to you, as you are a very logical and intelligent person Akechi-kun. Trauma therapy should also be necessary with your circumstances, or do you know of EMDR-therapy? It stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, it could help you to be in more touch with your emotions. And-’’ Maruki interrupted himself at the beginning of a sentence.

’’Oh, sorry I’m blabbering. I don’t even know what your financial situation,’’ he laughed and Akechi chuckled threateningly.

’’You would be surprised how well you get paid as an assassin.’’

\---

The taxi arrived at the Shibuya crossroads where Akira was supposedly going to be picked up by the car Niijima had rented. When Akechi got to the sight of the gang, they kept glancing at a black car with two well-dressed men. They were most likely leftovers from Shidō’s men or other remaining third parties with connections. Despite Niijima most likely having already relayed the information to Sae-san, Akechi typed the car's register number to his phone for later research.

As Maruki pulled over, the Phantom thieves were as caught off guard as Akechi had been.

’’Maruki-sensei!’’ They all called around the same time with confusion.

’’Could you use a distraction?’’ Maruki tried to sound cool, and Gorō found it hard not to roll his eyes.

’’You mean we would split up?’’ Akira caught on.

’’Let’s!’’ Sakamoto and Takamaki called.

’’We’ll see you in the station when we have lost them,’’ Niijima said and their leader agreed.

’’Okay.’’

Akira and Morgana settled in with Akechi to the back seat.

’’Gorō came to my rescue again,’’ the trickster sang his praises playfully.

’’Take it as you will,’’ he didn’t bother to bicker, and Morgana was quick to jump to his lap stretching, free from the bag it had been carried in.

’’Station it is then?’’ Maruki called.

’’Yes, please.’’ Akira confirmed and the car started.

It felt pointless that all this trouble the other Phantom thieves had gone through to rent a car was but a waste of resources and time. Yet Gorō found joy in sharing even a little more time together with Akira until his departure. 

’’Have you been looking for the apartment?’’ he asked, distracting himself by petting Mona.

Akira seemed surprised but gave a small nod.

’’Yeah. There are good one’s just few train stops before the college you thought of attending.’’

’’I can look into it now that I’m not restricted in access to the internet. What about the distance to your school? It should be convenient for the both of us,’’ he noted.

’’It’s a little far but takes about the same amount of time as my journey from Leblanc,’’ Akira said.

There were only a few turns from the station anymore, but the lights in front of them remained red. The humming of the car was reminding Akechi about Morgana’s purring a little. 

’’I have thought of what you said,’’ Gorō began as not to be obvious. He was painfully aware of the extra ears around them.

’’Regarding what?’’ Akira asked, forcing him to be more specific.

’’You know what. You just had to pour your heart out before our final battle.’’

Akira fell silent, like he was caught guilty of a crime he had actually committed instead of being framed.

’’I accept,’’ Akechi said and hoped the other wild card understood without him having to elaborate.

’’Huh?’’ Akira just let out a voice of confusion and Akechi could swear Morgana was smirking at him. Cats didn’t have the facial muscles to even make such an expression.

’’I accept… your confession,’’ Gorō spoke the words as softly as he could without fully whispering.

’’So I can call you my boyfriend?’’ Akira asked in awe.

_Well there goes him trying to be subtle out of the window._

’’I rather have you just call me Gorō,’’ Akechi said unfazed.

’’Honey?’’

’’No pet names.’’

’’Meanie.’’

’’I can change my mind if you keep this up.’’

Akira laughed relieved and Gorō had a hard time not joining him.

\---

They had arrived at the station which felt like too short of a time. Akechi shouldn’t feel this sentimental as it would be only temporary. Soon after the summer break they would be reunited again, hopefully in a new shared apartment.

Akira had opened the car’s door with Mona on his back, but made no further attempt to get out off the car. He turned to Gorō with a particular look in his eyes.

’’What?’’ detective asked.

’’You hold on to these.’’ Akira slid his own glasses to Gorō’s head.

A meaningless trick, the other had pulled now for the third time. Akechi was becoming immune to the initial feeling of fluster and flips of his heart that he had first experienced.

’’This is some stupid disguise again?’’

’’No, rather a promise,’’ The trickster said and showed him a familiar black glove. ’’Just like I have your glove, you have something of mine. We’ll see each other soon and then we can have that promised match on our apartment's decor.’’ 

Gorō was beginning to realize the depths of Akira’s affections and the detective had to force himself to keep his best neutral face.

_He had that in his pocket all this time?_

_Akira was indeed beyond help._

’’I don’t trust you to hold any kind of eye for style. The match will be mine,’’ Akechi answered to which the Joker said knowingly.

’’We’ll see.’’

Akira paused like gathering his courage and leaned far too close to Gorō’s personal space.

Before he could react the trickster had left with a small peck to the detective cheek.

’’I’ll see you soon Gorō.’’ Joker smiled seemingly satisfied,

\---

As Maruki was driving Akechi could see the man giving him all too happy glances through the car's mirrors.

’’Don’t you dare say anything.’’

’’I wasn’t. Just that the two of you look very happy together.’’

That was the absolutely worst thing Maruki could have said. Akechi could curl up and die of humiliation.

**He will kill Joker when he gets back.**

\---

It had been nearly a month.

Everything felt more reasonable than it had any right to be.

Akechi had gotten contact with a temporary therapist, who didn’t mind them going overtime if they were in the middle of something. She gave him assignments to write down his afterthoughts about their session or topics that she felt Gorō needed time to think and elaborate on.

His written thoughts when not self-censored where grotesque to say the least.

About corpses he saw in his nightmares, not many of which he could recognize. It bothered him greatly if his mind had created them, or if he knew them but just didn’t remember. 

He didn’t know which option was more disturbing.

Akechi wrote about insomnia that had continued as long as he could remember. How he consumed every mild medication before gaining a prescription for a strong one that guaranteed that within an hour he would fall asleep, but said medication was only limited to infrequent use.

Of his thoughts and flashbacks he forced away with sheer willpower. When asked what they had been about, he couldn’t recall, as it was exactly why he had shut the memory away. He guessed most of them must be of his mother, because when he had gained Loki Gorō had mastered the technique of sealing his mind away from the world and about all the gruesome things he would do for revenge.

All to survive.

He had taken Maruki’s suggestion to the heart and deemed getting help from overseas a good idea.

Takamaki and Akechi had regular chats where he practiced his English while he gave the model advice on her acting. An equal exchange as Takamaki would soon go abroad and would need her English skills regularly. 

Sakamoto was working hard on his rehabilitation. He found it difficult not to overwork himself, but when very kindly reminded by Gorō to take it easy or he would break his legs for him, he slowed down.

Kitagawa had offered Akechi a painting that he had produced for the last project of his school year. The artist called it an early housewarming gift for Akechi and Akira. He had named the piece ’’dark sun’’ and despite its title, the majority of the canvas was covered in bright light. From what Gorō could tell of the expressionist art style, it depicted a black sun in an otherwise softly colored background. The two elements contrasted each other, but still seemed to remain in some kind of harmony, elevated the differences but still fulfilled their own task. 

The dark all consuming sun and a never ending bright light that it could never completely overpower.

Fox had said he had been inspired when he had he thought of both Joker and Crow during their final battle.

Niijima, Okumura and Akechi had all been busy now that their college results were out **.** They all had been planning together their next steps from finding their respective apartments. Akechi had the most experience with what came with living alone ever since he was 15 years old. He shared all the knowledge he had gathered so far and his brutal honesty made the both girls consider living together to lessen the responsibilities that came with it.

Gorō was still regular at Leblanc and Sōjirō would often offer for him to spend the night at the cafe. He refused every time and didn’t explain it was because Akira wasn’t there with him. The older man seemed in some sense understand and would share stories of Akira’s first months at the cafe with a tone full of fondness.

Sakura had forced Akechi to accompany her when she was practicing her coming entrance ceremony. She had a vastly different idea how the whole thing worked, but he let Oracle have her fun as she demonstrated the fireworks go off behind the podium after the ceremony.

Yoshizawa was working harder than ever in her routine, and despite it, she and Gorō would still jog through Inokashira park. It had become a weekly meeting place for them.

Akechi supposes he indeed had gained a small part of the world with the reversed world card he had been granted by Arisato.

A hopeful world he never had.

_A world he never gave a chance to._

He still had a hard time opening up to them all, too used to a world where everything was out to get him. Yet all of their shared suffering served as a port of sorts. All going to their own journeys at the vast oceans, but something connected them at this moment, and would continue as they could all return to it.

Akechi didn’t have an obsessive end goal he would die for. He was happy enough with what he had, even if he feared that he would lose it.

He was building up to become a criminal investigator. It took a criminal to know a criminal, and it served as a clear point to direct his energy towards. 

Something that wasn’t tied to people around him, something purely for himself. 

It helped Gorō to lull himself into a false sense of security that he could live in a world without Akira in it

Yet the trickster wouldn’t stop sending him pictures of various dogs up for adoption. Apparently Akira had taken an interest in what it would take to train a therapy animal. Gorō could see him work in the same field in the future.

\----

Akechi found himself looking at a particularly ugly black dog that had been neglected. It was an English shepherd whose other eye was blind, but its personality was very human friendly despite bearing a large scar on its neck, where a collar had been pressed too tight.

_’I like her,’_ Gorō texted.

It is the first picture of a dog he had commented on and Akira placed importance on it immediately.

_’Is this the one? This is the one and the only dog that you are committed to care for the next 10 years?’_

Akechi began to type how the other was too overly dramatic, but ended up deleting it.

It was a big responsibility. To take care of another living being.

~~**His mother had given up under the pressure.** ~~

Gorō shook the invading thought out of his mind, and instead pictured all the support he had now. He wasn’t alone anymore. He didn’t need to do everything by himself anymore, even if it didn’t come naturally to him. He could do this.

**He wasn’t going to end up like his mother.**

_’Yes.’_

_’Morgana says he needs to meet her to be sure, but not to worry! Her description tells she was friends with the stray kittens on the backyard.’_

Akechi could almost picture both of their faces during the exchange.

_’I’ll adopt it with my name, and you can keep the cats.’_

The response was as fast as lightning.

_’You say I can get Morgana kitty buddies??? Can I???’_

_’With our current apartment size, two is a max,’_ Akechi agreed and hoped Akira wouldn’t choose any white cats. The fur would be very visible and stick to every piece of their clothing. The less noticeable color it would be, the better.

_’Love you,’_ Akira typed completely shamelessly and Gorō resisted the initial reflex to throw his phone as far away from his sight as he could.

_’Stop that. I hate when you suddenly say that.’_

_’Not until you get used to it.’_

_’No.’_

_’ILY’_

_’Stop.’_

_’ <3’_

_’When you get back here, I will end you.’_

_\-----_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I wrote the first chapter of this fic and it ended up being super angsty, I made a decision to make the most fluffiest of endings to compensate for it.   
> 
> 
> As for this fic itself, as cliche as this sounds but it’s true, it wouldn’t exist if not for the warm reception the first part got. 
> 
> I had planned the second part, but after I had written Justice Reversed and 2 chapters of this fic, I hit the writer’s block. I knew what I wanted to write and had a few vivid scenes in mind, but nothing I wrote after those 2 chapter’s seemed like what I wanted. So I left this fic to rot with a thought I might make a spin-off comic as I didn’t have an art block.
> 
> Then, well, I began to publish Justice Reversed fic that I had left alone for a whole month, (A technique that I developed so I could catch the typos as both of these are self-betad,) and everyone was just really kind and suddenly my mood was boosted and I knew I wanted to finish this second part. 
> 
> Thank you for all the comments, kudos and for reading! 
> 
> There will be no third part, but I hope the ending left you satisfied. If not, then comment and ask questions you would still like an answer to.
> 
> I, myself, will be off to read other Akeshu/Shuake fics. I had purposely held myself back from reading those, as I didn’t want to unconsciously steal any ideas or be influenced by other works in any way shape or form while writing these fics, haha.


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